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TDM #5
Welcome! Everything is fine.
Uploading. . . Complete!
The Lobby.
- When you open your eyes, there is quite a lot of beige to take in. The unassuming walls of the room you've found yourself in are barren save for a single motivational poster directly in your line of sight. An illuminated sign above an open door on the far wall reads 'lobby exit.'
"Welcome," chimes a polite, synthesized voice. "I'm happy you're here." A moment later comes the clarity of the situation: you have died and so has the world you came from. "This is Amani, your new reality," continues The Peacekeeper. "Everything will be fine."
At least you aren't the only one here, you'll soon find out, as others who are just as confused and concerned as you are mingling on the main hub's first floor. Hopefully, you find a familiar face among the crowd. If not, that's all right. You'll get to know quite a few people very well soon enough.
- If you're one of the unlucky few whose death required a bit more intensive re-coding to maintain stability in the simulation, you'll instead awaken on a bed in the infirmary. Everything is strikingly white save for the occasional string of vines with lavender growing in bursts to help keep people calm. Whether or not it works seems to be on a case-by-case basis.
While there is active medical staff, the voice of The Peacekeeper is also there to explain the situation in a more delicate manner to these individuals. It's already stressful enough having to have gone through such a violent death, after all!
If characters want more questions answered, they'll need to speak to The Peacekeeper directly. But first, it will encourage socialization in the main hub and hopefully, you'll find someone you recognize to make taking things in a little easier.
WHAT
The fifth Amani TDM!
WHEN
June 24th, 2022
KINKS OF THE MONTH
★ Double Penetration
★ Orgasm Denial/Control
★ Somnophilia
★ Corruption
★ Squirting/Cumshots
★ Orgasm Denial/Control
★ Somnophilia
★ Corruption
★ Squirting/Cumshots
WELCOME
Throughout the main hub where everyone congregates, a light chiming echoes through the first floor. "Hello, everyone," comes the synthetic voice from when you first arrived. "Please, watch your step since there's quite a few anomalies present. If you'd like, there is cake and some refreshments."
A small pause. "Oh, and! Don't forget to visit the new training grounds, music lounge, library, and onsen. Also, feel free to leave an offering for our resident deity of sleep at his shrine!"
Was that utility pole always there in the middle of the main hub? How did your shoe - just the one - get out on the lawn? You could have sworn you saw them together last. Actually, they are together now if you check. Just what is going on? Trying to draw close to these out-of-place or extra objects will cause them to giggle, wiggle, and disappear in a puff of smoke. Instead of a pole, it's now a wayward chair or cart that wasn't there just a moment before. If one continues to follow this tricky trail, they'll be rewarded by discovering the culprit: a tanuki.
While they appear to be harmless, some of their tricks may get taken just a little bit too far. You may grab for your vibrator only for it to go up in smoke and cause frustration in more ways than one. Or, they'll lead some individuals right into danger's path and giggle all the while. If someone attempts to catch them, they'll be left with only a leaf to show for it and the tracks of these mythical creatures leading directly to the beach.
If the main hub and its features don't appeal to you, that's perfectly fine. This is the perfect time to configure your Digitized Technical Friend or your DTF status. A DTF is similar to a dæmon from His Dark Materials in that it is connected to and a reflection of a character's soul. These DTFs take shape accordingly and are projections similar to the NPCs. Think of them as your own personal Clippy except less annoying. Hopefully.
Once that's set-up, there are other locations of the main hub to investigate! You can still find an instrument to play in the music lounge or check out the (algae-ridden) pool.
You can even visit The Peacekeeper themselves on the second floor. They're always happy to have visitors! They're also conveniently where you might place a complaint about that status of the main hub and its amenities. Even if you do complain, The Peacekeeper will encourage others to set off and find their own place to live out in the simulation.
Granted, the housing market in the afterlife isn't exactly robust. It doesn't help that every place you find has a leaky roof or broken window. No, unfortunately that will need to be fixed the peaceful way. If you'd like more lighting or even cozier clothes, simulation inhabitants are reminded that 'peaceful interactions' are very important!
It might be a good idea to stick close to someone you know, for now, since even the smallest amounts of intimacy might see subtle changes occurring where they're staying. Perhaps that broken window is now fixed, the grime and dust seem a little less, or the floor doesn't creak quite as loud.
Larger changes, however, will only come after demonstrating the more powerful peaceful interactions. If you want new hardwood floors or a fresh coat of paint on the walls, you're going to have to demonstrate how well you 'get along' with others against them first.
★ One of the aforementioned features will toggle automatically. All one needs to do is set foot on the sands of Taasunni and they'll be changed into the appropriate dress for a beach outing. Well, appropriate might be a bit of a stretch... This feature is, as mentioned, new and will be subject to some modifications. For now, inhabitants will have to deal with being put into something scandalous, ridiculous, or both!
The Peacekeeper promises to listen to feedback accordingly and modify everyone's outfits to something a bit less outlandish... eventually. In the meantime, why not flaunt what you've got and make the most of the simulated sun's rays on your skin?
★ If you'd rather preserve what little dignity you may have left, there are changing tents available to grab a towel that somehow covers up more than your swimwear probably did. Although some might be wary of tents after the picnic, these ones do not have aphrodisiac candles in them! But they do have a catch. These tents are translucent from the inside looking out like a one-way pane of glass.
Not to worry though! From the outside, no one can see in even if you can see them. In fact, there might be a subtle urge to see just how far you can take things within the walls of these tents while those outside are unawares; it might just scratch that itch for some exhibitionism without anyone actually watching.
A small pause. "Oh, and! Don't forget to visit the new training grounds, music lounge, library, and onsen. Also, feel free to leave an offering for our resident deity of sleep at his shrine!"
TRICKY TRICKSTERS
About those aforementioned anomalies...Was that utility pole always there in the middle of the main hub? How did your shoe - just the one - get out on the lawn? You could have sworn you saw them together last. Actually, they are together now if you check. Just what is going on? Trying to draw close to these out-of-place or extra objects will cause them to giggle, wiggle, and disappear in a puff of smoke. Instead of a pole, it's now a wayward chair or cart that wasn't there just a moment before. If one continues to follow this tricky trail, they'll be rewarded by discovering the culprit: a tanuki.
While they appear to be harmless, some of their tricks may get taken just a little bit too far. You may grab for your vibrator only for it to go up in smoke and cause frustration in more ways than one. Or, they'll lead some individuals right into danger's path and giggle all the while. If someone attempts to catch them, they'll be left with only a leaf to show for it and the tracks of these mythical creatures leading directly to the beach.
WHAT'S YOUR DTF STATUS?
If the main hub and its features don't appeal to you, that's perfectly fine. This is the perfect time to configure your Digitized Technical Friend or your DTF status. A DTF is similar to a dæmon from His Dark Materials in that it is connected to and a reflection of a character's soul. These DTFs take shape accordingly and are projections similar to the NPCs. Think of them as your own personal Clippy except less annoying. Hopefully.
Once that's set-up, there are other locations of the main hub to investigate! You can still find an instrument to play in the music lounge or check out the (algae-ridden) pool.
You can even visit The Peacekeeper themselves on the second floor. They're always happy to have visitors! They're also conveniently where you might place a complaint about that status of the main hub and its amenities. Even if you do complain, The Peacekeeper will encourage others to set off and find their own place to live out in the simulation.
Granted, the housing market in the afterlife isn't exactly robust. It doesn't help that every place you find has a leaky roof or broken window. No, unfortunately that will need to be fixed the peaceful way. If you'd like more lighting or even cozier clothes, simulation inhabitants are reminded that 'peaceful interactions' are very important!
It might be a good idea to stick close to someone you know, for now, since even the smallest amounts of intimacy might see subtle changes occurring where they're staying. Perhaps that broken window is now fixed, the grime and dust seem a little less, or the floor doesn't creak quite as loud.
Larger changes, however, will only come after demonstrating the more powerful peaceful interactions. If you want new hardwood floors or a fresh coat of paint on the walls, you're going to have to demonstrate how well you 'get along' with others against them first.
SUN'S OUT, GUNS OUT
"Hello, inhabitants," greets The Peacekeeper. "No doubt you've noticed the temperature gradually rising as my nature parameters adjust to summer weather." It has gotten a bit warmer these days, hasn't it? Although some may have not noticed, there is no doubt that others have been sensitive to the climbing heat.
"To remedy any discomfort, I suggest you hit the beach! There are plenty of fun new features that I've been requested to implement by The Creators to help keep everyone content! We hope that you enjoy them!"★ One of the aforementioned features will toggle automatically. All one needs to do is set foot on the sands of Taasunni and they'll be changed into the appropriate dress for a beach outing. Well, appropriate might be a bit of a stretch... This feature is, as mentioned, new and will be subject to some modifications. For now, inhabitants will have to deal with being put into something scandalous, ridiculous, or both!
The Peacekeeper promises to listen to feedback accordingly and modify everyone's outfits to something a bit less outlandish... eventually. In the meantime, why not flaunt what you've got and make the most of the simulated sun's rays on your skin?
★ If you'd rather preserve what little dignity you may have left, there are changing tents available to grab a towel that somehow covers up more than your swimwear probably did. Although some might be wary of tents after the picnic, these ones do not have aphrodisiac candles in them! But they do have a catch. These tents are translucent from the inside looking out like a one-way pane of glass.
Not to worry though! From the outside, no one can see in even if you can see them. In fact, there might be a subtle urge to see just how far you can take things within the walls of these tents while those outside are unawares; it might just scratch that itch for some exhibitionism without anyone actually watching.
HARMONIOUS HEARTS
DTFs will helpfully tell their owners that it is mating season for the heart jellies just off the shores of Taasunni. During the next couple of months, there will be an abundance of them floating idly in the cool waters of the sea. While their sting doesn't usually hurt, exactly, during this time there is a bit more risk to being zapped than just an enjoyable tingling sensation. It will burn but because their sting leaves a heart branded into one's skin temporarily.
Nothing will seem to relieve the dull pain on your own; however, the brand will draw others to you and serve as a target for their, ahem, affections. Bodily fluids from the most intimate of areas are about the only thing that will provide some relief and cause these heart-shaped brands to fade. Hopefully, you didn't get stung anywhere too embarrassing or difficult to come on!
Unfortunately, the other side effect of these stings is that the person with the brand won't be able to find relief - literal or sexual - until it's gone. Nothing will seem to bring them over that brink before their partner has "helped" get rid of the marking. Whether or not they do that quickly will be entirely up to them. The lack of control might be a bit unnerving but hopefully the eventual orgasm will be absolutely worth it.
Nothing will seem to relieve the dull pain on your own; however, the brand will draw others to you and serve as a target for their, ahem, affections. Bodily fluids from the most intimate of areas are about the only thing that will provide some relief and cause these heart-shaped brands to fade. Hopefully, you didn't get stung anywhere too embarrassing or difficult to come on!
Unfortunately, the other side effect of these stings is that the person with the brand won't be able to find relief - literal or sexual - until it's gone. Nothing will seem to bring them over that brink before their partner has "helped" get rid of the marking. Whether or not they do that quickly will be entirely up to them. The lack of control might be a bit unnerving but hopefully the eventual orgasm will be absolutely worth it.
CALLING TO ME
★ Throughout the simulation, as the sun dips low in the sky and stars begin to make their nightly debut, the sound of furin carrying on the breeze can be heard. It draws people to the beach and appears to sound from somewhere beyond sight passed ocean waves. It will make inhabitants feel a keen sense of longing that they can't quite explain. Whatever the case, they will want for more suddenly. Whether this is from their partner, their life, or just in general, the feeling won't be shaken so easily. Thankfully, the sound and feelings it evokes are only temporary. Just don't be surprised if that feeling of longing leads you to bite off more than you can chew in some way or another.
★ Observant inhabitants may notice that the island that spawned when the simulation expanded is now much closer to shore than before. It's also... moving? Although subtle and slow, it does appear to be inching ever closer to show throughout the day. It will make land during nightfall and reveal a giant turtle with palm trees and other tropical foliage growing off of its back.
"Sorry about the-" It's words are broken up by a loud yawn that will make anyone close suddenly very drowsy. "-tanuki. They decided to hitch a ride without me knowing." The turtle yawns again, causing another wave of grogginess to hit those talking to it. "I'll take them back when I give you all a ride to one of The Dead Ends. But until then... It was a long swim here. I'm going to just - aaawwwhhhh - take a short nap." That short nap will last two weeks. Inhabitants are free to climb aboard the turtle's back but it won't be stirring again anytime soon, unfortunately.
And perhaps neither will you! That sleepiness is downright contagious and will lead to inhabitants that had spoken to the turtle for any length of time falling into a deep slumber the next time they decide to lay down. Almost nothing will be able to wake them until the effect subsides. Although, if they seem more receptive to a bit of intimacy than anything... That's just a coincidence, surely!
★ Observant inhabitants may notice that the island that spawned when the simulation expanded is now much closer to shore than before. It's also... moving? Although subtle and slow, it does appear to be inching ever closer to show throughout the day. It will make land during nightfall and reveal a giant turtle with palm trees and other tropical foliage growing off of its back.
"Sorry about the-" It's words are broken up by a loud yawn that will make anyone close suddenly very drowsy. "-tanuki. They decided to hitch a ride without me knowing." The turtle yawns again, causing another wave of grogginess to hit those talking to it. "I'll take them back when I give you all a ride to one of The Dead Ends. But until then... It was a long swim here. I'm going to just - aaawwwhhhh - take a short nap." That short nap will last two weeks. Inhabitants are free to climb aboard the turtle's back but it won't be stirring again anytime soon, unfortunately.
And perhaps neither will you! That sleepiness is downright contagious and will lead to inhabitants that had spoken to the turtle for any length of time falling into a deep slumber the next time they decide to lay down. Almost nothing will be able to wake them until the effect subsides. Although, if they seem more receptive to a bit of intimacy than anything... That's just a coincidence, surely!
SEXY STAMP CARD
If you're wondering about these 'peaceful interactions' that keep being mentioned or what the kinks of the month are for... Here's your answer! Upon arrival, all characters will receive a digital copy of their very own sexy stamp card.
Completing peaceful interactions (i.e. kinks) will reward characters with stamps that they can turn in for re-gains and many other things! While the example one here is the standard issued card by The Peacekeeper, players are more than welcome to customize it how they see fit. Have fun with it!NOTES
Completing peaceful interactions (i.e. kinks) will reward characters with stamps that they can turn in for re-gains and many other things! While the example one here is the standard issued card by The Peacekeeper, players are more than welcome to customize it how they see fit. Have fun with it!
★ Trying a new thing by centering the TDM prompts around the kinks of the month for new and old people to get those stamps before the mingle! Hopefully, you enjoy it!
★ The effects of all the influences can, as always, be as heavy or light as you'd like! It can be chalked up to differences in resistance, non-humanity or not, etc. etc.
★ The flora and fauna page will be updated. It's also still open for player suggestions! All you need to do now is link your check-in (or player claim) comment to make a submission!
★ Make sure to dunk your questions/feedback in the thread below!
★ LAST BUT NOT LEAST! The player cap has BEEN INCREASED TO 45 PLAYERS. We're at 41/45 right now.
NAVIGATION
no subject
In a way, he relates. This man is jilted for some reason. Angry that he didn't get what Byleth had to give. Byleth tries to wrench his wrist away from the painful grip to no avail. He can see the near panic, the desperation, and as much as it pains him to think it- this man could hurt him. He hates the idea that Dimitri would, but the Dimitri on the island did. Emotionally anyways. Honestly he almost prefers this anger to the coldness of simply not mattering. Regardless, he needs to interrupt this.
So he slips under Dimitri in one smooth motion, taking his hand with, bending it behind his back and hooking his leg around the other man's pushing at his center of balance and sending him down on his belly. The hand still wrenched behind his back in an uncomfortable stress position.
"Dimitri." His own voice calm and stern. Commanding. "You will listen. I don't know what happened in your world. I will need you to speak to me calmly. Rationally. I don't know why the Byleth in your world left, but we can sort that out."
Deep breath.
"I'm going to let go of you now, and let you up, but I need you to be calm and talk to me. Can you do that?"
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Byleth pulling only made him hold onto him tighter until he came in close. Dimitri didn't know what was happening but in one moment Byleth was so close to him and the next he was flipped onto his stocked with his face in the sand. His hold on byleth's arms was broken and now he was the one in a vice grip.
"How..."
Blue eyes widened as he realized he couldn't move with the way Byleth had him pinned down. He thrashed a bit but every time he tried to move his arm twisted more, the sound of his bones wanting to crack under the pressure. It hurt.
"GET.OFF" He demanded back. He pulled again and the resulting pressure and pain had him burying his face in the sand below. He had to spit some out that made it into his mouth but the pain was calming, at least starting to calm him.
He took a few quick breaths, his anger level still high but Byleth's commanding voice was doing things to him. His breathing was starting to slow and he was stopping his struggling against him.
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This facilitates him leaning down close enough that he can lower his voice, and Dimitri can feel his breath against his neck and ear.
"Breathe with me." Something he does with his own Dimitri, when the man starts to spiral. He takes sure, measured breaths. Counting softly under his breath. Nice and slow. "It's going to be all right. I'm not your enemy. When you relax, I'll let you up." The fingers at his neck move up to gently card through his hair.
"You may not remember me as I am now, but I am here for you. I will not abandon you."
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He doesn't want to beg but the longer he stays in this submissive position the more dread fills him. "Let go...please....let go...." His voice comes out hoarser then usual. He's trying to hold back so many things. He's afraid of bursting.
One last time he tried to pull away, his crest activating in desperation and it only ends with him crying out in pain. His arm dislocates with a nasty snap and he stays there on the ground. He stops resisting, the pain too much for him.
He tries to follow Byleth's breathing instructions but it's hard to focus. His heads killing him, his ears are ringing and he's seeing spots in his vision.
"You're wrong...I never had you like this...I remember it all...you never wanted me..."
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"Breathe. We'll figure it out. I know what it's like, Dimitri. Before I came here, there was a version of you that wanted nothing to do with me. It felt wrong. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
He does feel the fight drain from the man's body though, and when he's finally still, Byleth's grip loosens.
"I'm letting go now." And he does, moving away and very gingerly minding his arm. "I don't know what was different about the Byleth you knew. I'm not a demon. I'm just a man. But this Byleth, the one sitting here with you cares. And he will continue to care." He can reiterate when Dimitri's head clears.
Taking his canteen from his belt, he wets his handkerchief and presses it to Dimitri's cheek. Nice and cool.
"I need to fix your arm. But first, just breathe. Slow. You can have some water when you want."
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He doesn't respond to the handkerchief to his face right away. It takes him a moment to react and when he does it's only to close his eyes at the gentle touch, savoring every moment of it.
The dislocated arm doesn't move but his other grasps at the sand underneath him, letting it fall between his fingers. He breathes slowly with his eyes closed, almost calm enough to think he was sleeping even if he isn't.
"Water...please.."
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"I'm so sorry." Really, for everything. He knows what it feels like to be abandoned, unwanted. How crushing it can feel. He's sorry for his arm, and for causing him such distress. He's sorry for what that other Byleth did... or didn't do.
Leaning over to try to keep the sun from his eyes.
"Can you walk? I want to get you out of the heat. I know you don't like being too warm."
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Byleth looked so sad. Was he really upset for him or was he upset because of him? Dimitri was too tired to tell but he did know that he didn't like this face. It hurt more than the expressionless one he was used to. With his good arm he reached up and caressed Byleth's face as best he could.
"Don't be sad, please...I don't know how to make you happy."
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"You can if you let me help you. If you talk to me. Don't push me away." He carefully uses that damp handkerchief to clean the sand from the man's face. It's so strange, to see him with two eyes. He looks different, but he's still Dimitri. There's just-
There's something so very wrong. Like all the pain that had become unwound in the process of everything they went through in his own world is back. Like it was never even addressed in this one. He's still all in pieces. All tangled up.
"I'm going to set your shoulder now. Bite this." He says gently. Placing the blue leather hilt of his dagger to Dimitri's lips. Plenty of warning before he braces a leg against him and in one swift jerk, pops his shoulder back into place.
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As Byleth started to clean his face he closed his eyes and just let himself enjoy the gentle touches briefly. A single tear escapes and rolls down his cheek before it disappears from the heat. "I won't push you away..." He mumbles the words a little but they are still crisp enough to hear.
The dislocation is something he isn't new too but that doesn't mean it hurts any less. He's thankful for the dagger in his mouth but bites down on it hard all the same from the pressure. His hand flexes and he rolls his shoulders to get acclimated again but doesn't move from his spot in Byleth's lap. He does wonder if Byleth knows the significance of the dagger to him but considering this Byleth's close relationship to the other Dimitri he guess he already told him. He takes the dagger out of is mouth and hands it back to Byleth, noticing a few marks from his teeth on the hilt. "I think I can fix that...."
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"Come on, let's get you out of this miserable heat." He offers, very gently helping the man up. Just enough so that they can move to sit in the merciful shade of the trees not far from the beach. Collecting his overcoat and shaking the sand from it as well. Once they settle again, he offers the canteen over once more.
"I know how things are for you after these panics." He offers softly, "Drink, breathe, we don't need to talk about anything pertinent right now. Focus on feeling calm and present. When you feel well enough, I'll take you home."
He means to his own home on the lake. There he has much more comfortable accommodations, and food he can give. Maybe even get him to wash up or take a nap.
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Dimitri took the offered hand and stood. His head was incredibly heavy once he was standing and for a moment he felt nauseous but it passed just as quickly as it came. He headed to the closest tree and slumped against it, using it to help him stand. Already the shade was helping him just as the shade Byleth had provided only moments before had helped as well. His arm still felt sore and his body felt like he had just suffered a nasty beating but otherwise he was feeling a little better, just tired. He was so tired.
He took the offered Canteen and drained it this time, letting some of it spill on his face to cool him down as well. His stray bangs were sticking to his face from the water and his own sweat. He really just needed a cold bath. Forgotten was his worries of his attire, he didn't care how exposed he was when he was in the middle of coming down from a panic attack.
"I don't have a home to go to." The words ripped at his chest as he said them. He had byleth besides him offering kindness but it didn't get rid of the aching loneliness he was still facing. He still spoke in the broken tone, almost emotionless.
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"You can come home with me. There's plenty of spare rooms." He says gently. "We'll get you feeling right again." He says it with such even confidence it's hard not to believe it as fact. But really, he's known Dimitri- and Dimitri at his core is still Dimitri. No matter what timeline he comes from. That's why his heart had still ached for the one on the island, even after he had hurt him so badly.
"As long as I'm around, I'll take care of you. All right? You may not know me well, but I know you. I care for you so much. I won't walk away."
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"You live with him don't you?" He turned to look at Byleth, seeing that similar worry in his eyes again. There had to be some truth to his words but he couldn't help but still hated that he was being loved only because of how he looked. Speaking to the other Dimitri had proven to him how different they were and yet Byleth was treating them as if they were the same entity. It hurt.
"How can you say you care about me when we hardly know each other?" He averted his eyes at that, not able to look into the beautiful mint pupils. "I do feel a pull to you myself but I know nothing of you."
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Flames this man is giving him mixed signals. He takes a measured breath.
"You don't have to stay, but it would be better than not having a place to go. I care about you because you're Dimitri. You may not be the one that I share memories with, but I can see-" Is this even helpful? "I just know."
It sounds like bullshit honestly, and he can't really explain that it's 'just a feeling'. Still, that last bit catches his attention.
"A pull? Hm... curious. I would like to remedy that- the not knowing things bit. I am an open book, and I will tell you anything and everything you wish to know that is within my breadth of knowledge. I want to know you, too. No doubt things unfolded differently for us, and I would like to understand you better."
Sothis help him, he would LOVE to understand.
"But right now, I want to make sure your basic needs are met. That means food, water, cleaning up, and some rest."
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"You're right, we share no memories together. You never taught me or anyone else and because of that I'm not the same. I'm my own person, I'm not yours." It hurt to say but it almost seemed like Byleth wasn't understanding his pain. He wasn't just another copy of the man Byleth loved and he wanted to be treated like such. They were strangers, even with the yearning he felt to hold him.
Byleth's words were truly and deeply confusing for him. The man before him was so different than the one he remembered. The Ashen Demon had said a total of ten words to him in the months they were together and here was Byleth speaking to him, emoting. It truly was unfair that he had been given a shell of this man. How would his life have been different with Byleth beside him? Would they have fallen in love, would they be an unstoppable force? There were many things Dimitri could picture accomplishing with this man by his side but his other half already held Byleth's heart.
"Is there anywhere else we can go? I don't wish to leave yet..."
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"Yes. You are different... but I would still like to get to know you. If you'd have me. I promise. If you don't that's- well. That's okay. I'd understand." He can't pretend it doesn't hurt to be rebuffed by someone who looks and sounds exactly like his lover. The lover he thought he'd lost forever. It evokes a certain ambiguous anxiety inside him.
"There's an empty beach house not too far from here. It's not much but it'll get you ou of the sun."
He offers his hand briefly, but remembers what the man just said. That's too familiar. Slowly, a bit sadly, it lowers and his shoulders sink a bit.
"Follow me."
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"Lead the way." He almost reaches out in return to Byleth, his hand hovering near the others as he follows Byleth to the said house. It's uncomfortable to walk and he's really dizzy still and he feels like people are staring at him, maybe they are. He is basically nude, covered in sand and has scars and a crest on his back, he'd stare too.
"Are all the empty houses...free to use?" He tries to make conversation for them. His eyes are staring at Byleth's hand the entire walk over, the back of his palm brushing against his. It feels electric the small touch between them, he really isn't sure how long he will be able to resist the pull he has on this man.
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"They are. You can use your stamps to gain improvements to whichever one you choose. Many of them aren't exactly cozy to start with." He pulls up a couple of very rickety looking chairs.
"Sit, please. Let me have a look at you. You're liable to get sunburned out there." He sits down himself, waiting for Dimitri to follow.
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"Are you sure this will hold my weight?" Dimitri takes a seat, cautiously. The chair does hold him but barely. Any wrong movement may cause it to snap under him. He does like how much cooler it is in here however.
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"Mmm. You're probably going to have a little bit of a burn on your chest and face... nothing too bad though. Just a bit tender for a while. I have some salve at home I can give you to relieve the soreness and itching." His fingers very lightly touch the pink patches on his skin, tilting his head to examine him for anything more serious.
"If you want to ask me anything, I am an open book. Or I can help you locate a place to stay if you don't have one, and don't want to stay with me."
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"I would appreciate that. I wouldn't know which herbs to use to make my own, not without assistance." He opens his eyes to look into Byleth's own mint ones, placing his hand on top of Byleth's to keep it on him.
"I will find my own place in this world. What I want to know is how we came to be. Why am I drawn to you? How can you love me here but ignored me in my own time? What actions did I do that made you love me in one world but ignore me in my own?" While these were similar questions that he asked before this time he was asking them with a clear head. He was calmer and truly just wanted something to make sense of all this.
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"I met you, Claude and Edelgard when my father and I helped you fend off some bandits. I ended up becoming a teacher at the monastery. I did feel something when we met, but I had dismissed it as it was so very subtle, and at the time, I was not good at expressing myself. During my time teaching, about a year, I learned how to become more of a- a person I guess. To express myself and make sense of my own feelings. It was a long process..." He explains softly, evenly, as if he were giving a lecture in the classroom again.
"It was when I heard you laughing. You were standing near the gate and Alois was telling you some kind of joke, and you were laughing so hard you nearly doubled over. It was then that I knew I wanted to see that smile as much as possible. To hear you full of joy like that again. I think it was only then that the concept of being in love really crossed my mind." It's strange to talk about this, after all that has happened. But it still brings up the feelings of those memories. "My father was slain that same year, stabbed in the back by a fiend who was using Monica's body as a puppet. It was the first time in my life I ever shed tears. I was beside myself. You were really the only person who told me that it was all right to grieve. That it wasn't weak or shameful."
He goes on to tell him about those five years he was incapacitated, and the war, and what he came back to. How they won. It's a lengthy ordeal but he recounts it like he was reading it out of a book.
"After that, you returned to Faerghus, and I, to be the head of the church in Rhea's stead. There was so much left unsaid, and I felt deep regret. I came to an island before I came here. It was- honestly I thought I was in hell. You were... married to Edelgard, and after one encounter, you refused to speak to me. I fell into a deep depression before I came here. Then it was like... everything was as I remembered. I finally was able to tell you how I felt. I regretted waiting for so long. It was hard after that island, and feeling like I was not enough. Not wanted."
At this, he goes quiet for a moment.
"I think it is quite possible that you could have been with me in your world. But that version of me... maybe he didn't know what he was feeling. Maybe there wasn't enough time together. Maybe he never heard you laugh, or got to feel your deep compassion. Maybe he was a different man all together. I can't say for sure. But I would likely bank on the former being true.
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There was much that stuck out to him. Dedue, his dear beloved Dedue had almost died for him, Rodrigue was dead, Monica was never saved, his uncle was never charged with being an accomplish in the tragedy in Duscur, that he had tried for peace with Edelgard and yet murdered her....that he had gone insane. It was all too much to take in for now and he felt himself growing dizzy and nauseous.
All of this, every single deviance from his own life was all because of Byleth. It all started because Byleth found him and not Shez. He tried to compare the two but it was no contest. Shez hardly had much to do with his own life other than being someone he would see on occasion or could call upon for military strategies. They were never close and never going to be close. Dimitri had made sure of it early on. He had enough friends and hadn't needed a new one, he'd only ever needed soldiers to help him fight and Shez was good for that.
Byleth...that was different. Byleth apparently fell in love with him because of his laughter. It was heartwarming to think something so simple could get someone to fall in love with him, and yet he couldn't recall ever laughing in front of the Ashen Demon. There was no Alois there to tell any jokes around him and they were in the middle of a war and he was King, he hadn't had time for humor. Had his own need to finish the war quickly been his undoing? Was that why the Ashen Demon didn't want him? He was too untouchable as the King, there was no time to let go and be carefree and he had lost that chance because of it.
Dimitri wasn't sure if he felt better or worse from hearing all this. Currently he was siding with worse. Then there was the matter of this Byleth's own tale. It mimicked his own in a way. He too felt unwanted and unneeded. That he had no place here. While he couldn't think of any place where he'd in his right mind marry Edelgard, he felt for Byleth.
He rubbed his face in his hands, feeling the heat and burns on his cheeks and leaned back in the chair a little, looking at the dilapidated ceiling above. He couldn't look at Byleth right away, he still had to process it all.
"I.....I feel unwanted just as you once did. I see the way others look at me, like I am different. I'm not the Dimitri anyone remembers and they have the other one...there is no need for me here." He closes his eyes for a moment, his head heavy and the room starting to spin. "I think...I was too cold to you in my time...I never opened up...how could I? I was in the middle of a war to save my kingdom and Fodlan with as little casualties as I could...when was I supposed to laugh?"
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"Maybe they want to get to know you. They're still your friends. They don't share the same memories, but at their core, they are still the people who love you. When you strip away five years of memory, you still have everything up to that point. I wish I could rectify what happened- I can tell you're in pain."
He wilts a little in his seat.
"There are separate timelines for how things happened for me as well. There's a Byleth that helped Claude. There's even one that helped Edelgard. You are not unwanted. I can only tell you that. It's up to you if you decide to believe me or not. I'm sorry for how things worked out. I don't know... if you're better off like this, not having been tortured or exiled or touched the brink of insanity, or having faced all that and excised it. But you seem coiled. Wound up like a spring with nowhere to go."
He thinks about his next words carefully.
"I am extending my hand to you. You have the means to take it. You don't have to be alone. I won't pull it away. You don't have to do anything right now. But it's there. I'm here."
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end?
End.