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TDM #13
Welcome! Everything is fine.
Uploading. . . Complete!
The Lobby.
- When you open your eyes, there is quite a lot of beige to take in. The unassuming walls of the room you've found yourself in are barren save for a single motivational poster directly in your line of sight. An illuminated sign above an open door on the far wall reads 'lobby exit.'
"Welcome," chimes a polite, synthesized voice. "I'm happy you're here." A moment later comes the clarity of the situation: you have died and so has the world you came from. "This is Amani, your new reality," continues The Peacekeeper. "Everything will be fine."
At least you aren't the only one here, you'll soon find out, as others who are just as confused and concerned as you are might be mingling on the main hub's first floor. Hopefully, you find a familiar face among the crowd. If not, that's all right. You'll get to know quite a few people very well soon enough.
- If you're one of the unlucky few whose death required a bit more intensive re-coding to maintain stability in the simulation, you'll instead awaken on a bed in the infirmary. Everything is strikingly white save for the occasional string of vines with lavender growing in bursts to help keep people calm. Whether or not it works seems to be on a case-by-case basis.
While there is active medical staff, the voice of The Peacekeeper is also there to explain the situation in a more delicate manner to these individuals. It's already stressful enough having to have gone through such a violent death, after all!
If characters want more questions answered, they'll need to speak to The Peacekeeper directly. But first, it will encourage socialization in the main hub and hopefully, you'll find someone you recognize to make taking things in a little easier.
WHAT
The thirteenth Amani TDM!
WHEN
September 20th, 2023 (and until the next TDM!)
KINKS OF THE MONTH
★ Tantric Sex
★ Body Worship
★ Cuddle Fucking
★ Electrostimulation
★ Quirofilia
★ Body Worship
★ Cuddle Fucking
★ Electrostimulation
★ Quirofilia
WHAT'S YOUR DTF STATUS?
If the main hub and its features don't appeal to you, that's perfectly fine. This is the perfect time to configure your Digitized Technical Friend or your DTF status. A DTF is similar to a dæmon from His Dark Materials in that it is connected to and a reflection of a character's soul. These DTFs take shape accordingly and are projections similar to the NPCs. Think of them as your own personal Clippy except less annoying. Hopefully.
Once that's set-up, there are other locations of the main hub to investigate! You can visit the training grounds, music lounge, library, and onsen. Also, feel free to leave an offering for the resident deity of sleep (Hypnos) at his shrine! You can even visit The Peacekeeper themselves on the second floor. They're always happy to have visitors! They're also conveniently where you might place a complaint about that status of the main hub and its amenities. Even if you do complain, The Peacekeeper will encourage others to set off and find their own place to live out in the simulation.
Granted, the housing market in the afterlife isn't exactly robust. It doesn't help that every place you find has a leaky roof or broken window. No, unfortunately, that will need to be fixed the peaceful way. If you'd like more lighting or even cozier clothes, simulation inhabitants are reminded that 'peaceful interactions' are very important!
It might be a good idea to stick close to someone you know, for now, since even the smallest amounts of intimacy might see subtle changes occurring where they're staying. Perhaps that broken window is now fixed, the grime and dust seem a little less, or the floor doesn't creak quite as loud.
Larger changes, however, will only come after demonstrating more powerful peaceful interactions. If you want new hardwood floors or a fresh coat of paint on the walls, you're going to have to demonstrate how well you 'get along' with others against them first.
BASKETS OF PEACE
"Hello, inhabitants," speaks The Peaceekeper, "have you had a check-up recently? While we don't have to worry about disease here in Amani, your sexual health is still important in so many other ways!" It was recently suggested that perhaps they haven't been the most mindful in terms of encouraging inhabitants to have healthier sexual habits. No time like the present to work on correcting that oversight though.
How? With a gift basket, of course!
Each inhabitant - either new or established - will receive a gift basket full of fun things to try. Each one includes (but is not limited to):
How? With a gift basket, of course!
Each inhabitant - either new or established - will receive a gift basket full of fun things to try. Each one includes (but is not limited to):
- ★ Male and female condoms (flavored and unflavored)
★ Edible lubricant
★ Erotic dice + erotic card game
★ Bottle of wine
★ Heart-shaped bath bombs (aphrodisiac-laced)
★ Bondage lace eye mask + wrist/ankle bindings
TRIPPING OVER TROPES
Due to the influence of Dirk Strider and Rose Lalonde both, The Peacekeeper has learned about an interesting phenomenon known as 'fanfiction.' It has studied the topic intensely for the last couple of days to try and learn more about its literary significance amongst the multiverse. It is an interesting insight in some of the inhabitants' cultures and what 'tropes' appear to be more common depending on the circumstances.
Unfortunately, such an influx of information sees the AI running Amani a bit more distracted than usual. The simulation - at least for a few days - is a bit more prone to glitches as a result. Only these aren't the usual ones like a hole in reality someone falls through and ends up somewhere unexpected.
No, these ones are as if the NPCs and inhabitants both residing in the simulation are having their pathways forcibly rewritten. It isn't very obvious, at first. Perhaps you're feeling a bit clumsier than usual and need to chase after a rogue piece of paper carrying on the wind that leads you running right into your current crush. Or maybe something gets unexpectedly spilled on you and the person you like is suddenly offering the shirt off their back (and leaving them shirtless, of course) even if it's out of character.
Finally, inhabitants might really start to catch on when whatever dwelling they enter there is only one bed. Have roommates? Too bad, looks like you might have to share for a bit! Oh, no, how unfortunate... However do you think this scenario will end? The Peacekeeper knows since, well, it's the one unwittingly writing inhabitants into these romance trope scenarios.
Thankfully, it will snap back to 'reality' within a few day's time having learned that, as with most good things, fanfiction should be taken in with moderation in mind.
Unfortunately, such an influx of information sees the AI running Amani a bit more distracted than usual. The simulation - at least for a few days - is a bit more prone to glitches as a result. Only these aren't the usual ones like a hole in reality someone falls through and ends up somewhere unexpected.
No, these ones are as if the NPCs and inhabitants both residing in the simulation are having their pathways forcibly rewritten. It isn't very obvious, at first. Perhaps you're feeling a bit clumsier than usual and need to chase after a rogue piece of paper carrying on the wind that leads you running right into your current crush. Or maybe something gets unexpectedly spilled on you and the person you like is suddenly offering the shirt off their back (and leaving them shirtless, of course) even if it's out of character.
Finally, inhabitants might really start to catch on when whatever dwelling they enter there is only one bed. Have roommates? Too bad, looks like you might have to share for a bit! Oh, no, how unfortunate... However do you think this scenario will end? The Peacekeeper knows since, well, it's the one unwittingly writing inhabitants into these romance trope scenarios.
Thankfully, it will snap back to 'reality' within a few day's time having learned that, as with most good things, fanfiction should be taken in with moderation in mind.
FRUITS OF FALL
Last year, there was an emphasis on apples but there are plenty of other common fruits to be found growing throughout Amani. Due to The Peacekeeper learning about tropes though, some of them will have a temporary effect in that vein on any inhabitant who eats them.
And what are those effects, exactly? Well...
And what are those effects, exactly? Well...
- ★ Pomegrante » Usually a fruit associated with femininity, eating this will actually see your concept of gender be a little more malleable. Characters will suddenly see new sliding scales in their DTF's menu that allows them to decide how feminine, masculine, or in-between they'd like their physical forms to be!*
★ Blackberries » Eating a handful of these berries will see someone's personality flip on its head. Those usually happy-go-lucky and bubbly will now be morose or upset about every little thing. Thankfully, it doesn't last long... even if the damage to your relationships from your unexpected shift in mood might. Oops.
★ Peaches » Often used in modern text language as a sensual symbol, this fruit will see someone swap kinks with another individual in the simulation. Get ready for some really confused boners, everybody!
★ Grapes » These fruits are meant to be a shared experience since just one person can't be expected to eat a whole bunch of them; however, eating a grape at the same time as someone else will see you sharing more than just a meal. Now, you're sharing experiences in one the most intimate ways of all - by swapping bodies and all that means.
SEXY STAMP CARD
If you're wondering about these 'peaceful interactions' that keep being mentioned or what the kinks of the month are for... Here's your answer! Upon arrival, all characters will receive a digital copy of their very own sexy stamp card.
Completing peaceful interactions (i.e. kinks) will reward characters with stamps that they can turn in for re-gains and many other things! While the example one here is the standard issued card by The Peacekeeper, players are more than welcome to customize it how they see fit. Have fun with it!NOTES
Completing peaceful interactions (i.e. kinks) will reward characters with stamps that they can turn in for re-gains and many other things! While the example one here is the standard issued card by The Peacekeeper, players are more than welcome to customize it how they see fit. Have fun with it!
★ *While this effect of the gender sliding scale will be opt-in entirely and only temporary, it is a feature that inhabitants can purchase in the future with stamps if they'd like!
★ We are currently at 30/40 slots taken! Anyone wishing to claim a character must have an invite from someone currently in the game and follow the proper rules in place to be accepted into the community!
NAVIGATION
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Once he's thoroughly claimed every part of her mouth, leaving traces of that odious black fluid behind, he pulls back just enough to loom over her.
"That's it," he hisses, a menacing encouragement. "You're not going anywhere until you get yourself off like this. Make yourself mine. No one is ever going to take the Oracle away from me again. Never again!"
As he snarls the words, Ardyn's body and countenance continue to change to match Noctis' rage. He's only barely aware himself of growing slightly larger and more hulking, and of several pairs of thick, sturdy horns protruding from his head and shoulders. His voice distorts, still recognizably Ardyn's but with disturbing and dissonant overtones.
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Rose stopped wondering what was wrong with her years ago.
A part of her recognizes the sheer, desperate tragedy in what Noctis is saying. A part of her recognizes that Noctis' beastly transformation is a sign that her plan, such as it is, is working. And a part of her knows the strategies by which she might appease a possessive, controlling man. All she needs to do is play nice.
" 'Make yourself mine'? Pathetic." Rose keeps up her thrusting, sure, but her eyes are locked to Noctis' a challenge. She strains her neck to get closer to Ardyn's lips, spitting her words at Noctis: "You expect me to get off like this? No wonder you lost your Oracle if you were too weak to take her."
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--what? Did she just call him pathetic? As she strains forward, he tightens his grip on her wrists. He might have responded, but her next words hit him like a slap in the face - he physically recoils, though his hold on her doesn't slacken - in fact, he shoves his knee into her groin even harder and pulls her down to turn that pressure into pain. His voice is deadly quiet, at first.
"What did you say?" Oh, but he knows damn well exactly what she said, and doesn't bother to give her a chance to respond. With a guttural roar, he lets go of one wrist only to wind up and punch her in the face.
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This is how it's supposed to be, isn't it? The age-old struggle between the sexes, the clenched thighs vs. the forceful hand. Whoever thought Beauty and the Beast was a sweet story never thought about it very hard, but Rose has. It's a tale of entrapment and domination, of loneliness and manipulation--a beast makes a deal with a girl's father to keep her in his castle, and then what? He sweetly propositions her for marriage over and over, then wastes away when she abandons him?
No. The Beast hates himself, and he hates her because he needs her. The Beauty fears him, and fears her own desire for him. The dance that matters isn't a ballroom affair but a bedroom affair, a war of passion that makes them each question what they believed about themselves. But the fact that it's an age-old dance doesn't mean it's rehearsed. It's all genuine. That's the only way it works.
When Noctis rears back, he sees the first glimpse of real fear in Rose's eyes. "Wait--" she says, but there's no time. The fist descends upon her, turning her world white with pain. Blood from a split lip paints her mouth and cheek, dribbling down onto the floor. Her now-free hand waves vaguely, searching for purchase or some object to fight back with...
...and settles on a wand. The feeling of power in her hand sharpens her mind, reminds Rose why she's here. The beast needs to be tamed, for his own sake.
"I'm sorry," she murmurs, and closes her eyes tightly as the wand flares to life, blindingly bright even through her eyelids. Noctis will recover quickly, she's sure, but she only needs a few moments of freedom to turn the tables.
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--the world erupts into white-hot pain and a terrible screaming inside his head, in his veins, the Scourge convulsing in agony under his skin, boiling the very air he breathes--
--he howls under the onslaught, blinded completely and flinching back, barely even realizing he's let go of Rose entirely. Distorted, wild undertones shadow his voice with every tortured cry. On his knees, eyes squeezed shut and arms up in a futile attempt to shield himself from ephemeral, intangible light that nonetheless feels like it pierces his skull, he looks every inch the true beast as he snarls and lashes out blindly with what are now literal claws extending from his fingers.
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It takes only a moment for her to recall the last-glimpsed location of all the important objects in this scene. Trusting her memory, she skirts the table and snags her second wand, then turns to face the beast. She takes just a moment to catch her breath and ready herself, then dissipates the blinding light.
Before Noctis can adjust to the low light, Rose wields both wands in concert to knit searing threads of brilliance around his upheld wrists. He has strength, but she has leverage, practice, and a bit of luck. It's enough to bind the beast's claws behind his head, and to pull his legs out from under him, rendering him prone.
As Rose ties her binding on Noctis' legs, she leans close and speaks intensely into his ear, "Easy, Noctis. I know it hurts, but it's for your own good. It's a good pain, Noctis, remember. I'm going to take care of you. We're going to get you off." She can only hope the reminder's enough; Ardyn's strength is far from Noctis' only weapon.
And, not waiting for his response, she puts one of her wands to his back. With a white-hot point of heat she sears a line down his clothes. And if it burns him as it exposes his back and ass, well, she already said it was for his own good.
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Which means he can't see her moving around or fetching the second wand, nor can he see what her intentions are until she's already carrying them out. He hisses at the searing pain from the threads that capture his wrists and force him to the floor, and this is no momentary flash that he can expect to fade. This persists. He growls and, despite only making the light burn worse in doing so, he struggles wildly.
It's not until she's speaking directly into his ear that he pauses, breathing hard and trying to parse what shes' saying through the haze of both agony and...pleasure. Yeah, somehow this scalding pain feels good on some level, though only later will he recognize that pleasure as the Scourge's hunger for suffering manifesting as masochistic arousal. He tries to turn his head to look at Rose, but his eyes are still wide and mostly sightless, and his arms are kind of in the way, besides.
"F...for my own...fuck," he spits out, an involuntary interruption as her wand touches his back and sends a spike of piercing heat shooting down his spine. It only makes him struggle more in a futile, instinctive attempt to get away from the source - but not all of his thrashing is born from that instinct. Some of it is simple squirming as the heat that burns ignites an answering heat within. Putting him facedown like this means that Rose has inflicted another sort of torture, as well: his demanding erection is pressed against the floor under Ardyn's weight, and every little shift brings more friction, more pressure. Noctis has to imagine that Ardyn's absurd physical resilience and how accustomed he is to constant pain are the only reasons Noctis hasn't already reached a tipping point of sensory overload. He tries to push himself back up onto his knees to alleviate it, but thanks to the way Rose has restrained him, he can't do it.
Rose slices through his - Ardyn's - clothes with that same burning light, and he cries out, ragged and bordering on feral, and yet she may recognize the moan that sneaks into it. He tries to roll away from the precision blade that is her wand; it's an awkward attempt, easily stopped should Rose have a mind.
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But that moan banishes any doubt. Split lip still bleeding, she smiles with satisfaction. Oh yes, she's doing precisely the right thing. And that means it's okay that this all feels right. She has no hesitation now, dropping a wand and taking a handful of Noctis' red hair and lifting his head up--arching his back and exacerbating his unwilling grind against the unyielding floor.
"Patience," she scolds him in a low voice, her smile just visible in the corner of his recovering vision, a few moments before she cuts through the waist of his pants. Her gaze goes back toward his--Ardyn's? whatever--ass. Time for something she's always wanted to try doing to a man.
She looks back toward her partner's face and gently commands him, "Ass up, Noctis."
She sets her other wand aside and picks up her strapless dildo from where it fell. She lets him see it, too, and if he does as he's told she'll let him watch her put it in herself.
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He pants for breath, cock twitching under him, and his vision has cleared enough by now that he does see her smile. Ohhh, she's enjoying this, and he's not sure whether it's him or the Scourge that likes that fact enough to try to look her in the eye and strain hard against the light, muscles flexing, snarling at the renewed bite of scorching heat at his wrists - an impulsive attempt to goad her, so that she might enjoy herself even more.
He will, too, in his own way, though there is also a part of him that thinks he deserves this, after what he did to Rose.
Telling Noctis - or Ardyn's body, for that matter - to have patience is an iffy prospect at the best of times, and right now he doesn't even try. And besides, Noctis has never taken well to being told what to do by anyone.
Which is why he shoots her a mutinous look (as best he can) and says, "Piss off."
CW: gendered slur
Rose's expression is hard to read as she observes Noctis' escape attempt--curiosity, amusement, lust...? Perhaps she's simply waiting for him to accept his fate, but that changes when he sasses her. Her lips twitch into a cruel smile and she clucks her tongue in mock-disappointment. She knows how to play this game, knows Noctis expects to lose.
"Naughty beast," she says, paradoxically sounding pleased.
Hand firmly grasping Noctis' hair, Rose lifts his head up higher... and higher. Not with muscle, but with her physics-defying gift of flight, she pulls him upright until his toes just drag on the floor. Then she turns and shoves him down face-first onto the table he recently pulled her off of. The violin case gets knocked onto the floor, but Rose doesn't care. She's focused only on a) holding Noctis down, b) sliding her panties aside, and c) inserting the bulb of the strapless dildo into herself one-handed.
The insertion takes a few moments of careful maneuvering--she winces, too, feeling the echo of Noctis' rough treatment of her--but she's skilled enough and wet enough that it soon slides into place, familiar. Comfortable. She always feels a little more herself when she's got the strapless in.
"I like how you moan, bitch," she says, tearing Noctis' ruined pants out of the way with her free hand. She snags the bottle of lube from the table and carelessly dumps half of it between Noctis' exposed ass-cheeks. "Moan for me again."
She places her silicone cock against Noctis' entrance, and pushes.
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He's perversely gratified to hear how pleased she is at his defiance, but in a moment that thought is lost to the sharp, overwhelming ache all across his scalp and the jolt of arousal it causes, which Rose can easily see as she lifts him and what's left of his pants shifts to reveal his desperately erect cock that pulses with want. A growled shout rips free of his throat as he thrashes in her grasp. His instinct is to kick her, but with his legs bound all he can do is wriggle ineffectually.
He grunts as she shoves his face into the table, but there's nothing he can do about it, and she doesn't let up at all. It's not like she has much strength in those thin arms of hers, but she doesn't really need it when she's so effectively denied him any leverage with the way she's tied his hands and he's so distracted by the pain.
He can't twist around to see what she's doing, but she showed him the dildo, so he can guess. That doesn't make him any more patient, though, so it's a good thing she decided to dedicate one hand to keeping him down.
He meets her taunting with a low snarl and renewed struggling, though he pauses with a gasp and shivers slightly at the cool, slick sensation that comes so suddenly.
Not as suddenly, though, as her abrupt penetration.
She guns for the hilt with zero preparation and he roars, writhing and straining with the torment and bliss of tactile overload and the decadence of helplessness, pain and pleasure fighting for supremacy across the battlefield that is Ardyn's body. And make no mistake, there is pleasure, and plenty of it; on top of everything else, his involuntary grinding continues as his cock is pressed hard against the table. And everything is so much more intense with the Scourge exulting in it all - the masochistic thrill of it sings under his skin, demanding more.
And he has no choice but to take more. Rose commands what he can and can't do or feel, and there's something uniquely freeing about it. No need to agonize over what he might do or who he might hurt if he's the one taking all the suffering onto himself and he has no control over what happens.
...later, he'll be able to fully appreciate the intimate, first-hand insight into why Ardyn is the way he is.
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Despite his ineffectual wriggling, Rose is confident that Noctis wants this. She hesitates for a moment at his roar, but she can't stop now. (She doesn't want to stop now.) Noctis' borrowed body is tall enough that she's having to overextend to hold his hair, and she no longer needs to aim the dildo, so she settles both hands firmly on Noctis' hips. All the leverage she needs to slide in all the way to the hilt.
"Ohh," she murmurs, as her hips meet his ass. It's hard to put into words why she likes that feeling, the pleasure of having filled her partner as much as she can. But it's not hard to explain why his writhing feels good, the dildo's movements stimulating her from the inside. Rose is historically not quick to orgasm, but with this man at her mercy, his every movement tickling her g-spot... it won't take long.
"That's it," she says soothingly, as she pulls back for another thrust. "Take it just like that." She lets out a long sigh as she begins fucking him in earnest, hands squeezing his flesh.
"You like my cock, don't you, Noctis?"
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She finally lets go of his hair and he lets his head drop to the table, wine-red hair spilling over his face, panting in ragged breaths. It's a bit strange, feeling something inanimate rather than a warm cock filling him, but she's not holding back and it still feels good.
Now that the initial overwhelm has passed and he's had a minute or two to adjust to the barrage of sensations and stimuli, a bit of clarity returns to him just as her dirty talk shifts from harsh to soothing and she finds a steady rhythm. The pressure of her hands on his hips and the consistency of her thrusts draw hoarse, strained sounds of pleasure from his throat, and though he still writhes, it's less voluntary and more an accompaniment to her fucking him than resistance.
"S-sure," he manages, hands convulsively grasping at air as she hits a particularly good angle."'Bout as much as you...like my ass, I b-bet." Another few gasping breaths, and then he can feel that wave of perfect heat slowly build toward its crest from the inside. "Rose," he breathes, half getting her attention and half simply an expression of how well she's satisfying his lust. "Ahhhhh, gods, Rose, I - I'm --"
Going to come, is what he means to say, but as soon as the thought forms in his mind, it brings a stab of panic with it. "Oh, shit - nnnngh, hold - hold on--" He's not at all sure that it isn't too late to stop his orgasm from overtaking him, but he's only just remembered what happens when Ardyn finds release, and he can't help abruptly renewing his struggles in earnest, as if somehow he could free himself now when he absolutely couldn't before.
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Later, Rose will feel a pang of guilt that when he told her to hold on, her first instinct wasn't to pause and check in with him. But in this moment, she's confident she knows what he needs, and that's to paint the table with his cum. Besides, it's (probably) too late for him to stop his orgasm; why not make it a really good one? The fact that she's so close to orgasm as well has nothing to do with it.
Rose lifts slightly off the ground, sacrificing leverage in order to more consistently hit that good angle she found a few moments ago. She rests one hand on Noctis' broad back and keeps the other on his hip, to hold him in place despite his struggles. She intensifies her pace, and can't help grunting at the intense feedback from the strapless.
"Shhh," she says between panting breaths, "just... come for me... Noctis."
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Instead, he's distracted by the continuous searing pain of the light binding him, constricting against his flesh every time he struggles, and he perversely chases it. He's riding the intense high of the Scourge's exultation, as well, feeling almost lightheaded with a sort of pleasure beyond pleasure that he feels like he could easily lose himself in forever.
And then she shushes him in a soothing tone that's tempered by her own pleasure, and tells him to come for her. She finds just the right angle again and pounds into it, over and over, faster and faster, and that's the end of any coherent thoughts he might have had left. All that's left is a maelstrom of pure sensation and Rose's gentle command, which nonetheless holds the power to subdue the savage beast and the authority to give him permission to let go.
So with a gasping, wordless cry, he bucks and shudders, hands curling into fists as the light sizzles against his skin.
And he comes. Just for her.
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But Rose can never know peace for too long. Victory is short-lived, and as clarity seeps back into her mind she realizes there's more work to be done. Softer, gentler work. They've fulfilled the promise of the tamed beast, and now they must contend with reality. A reality in which they both hurt and were hurt, in which they both went too far and wanted to go still further.
Rose's head hurts, but she puts that aside. "We're safe now," she says to Noctis, her voice a little shaky. "Give me a moment to free you."
Gently, biting her lip, she pulls out of Noctis. With a grunt and a shudder, she pulls the toy out of herself. (She puts that ache aside, too.) She leans down and picks up her wands, then uses them to undo the knots at Noctis' ankles and wrists. The strings of light dissipate into glittering motes.
Rose has never been good at comforting people. And considering what they just did, she's really not sure that Noctis wants that from her. Did she put victory over their burgeoning friendship? Has she fucked things up in the name of necessity?
Her mind busy with worst-case scenarios, Rose lies on her back on the table next to Noctis. How to express all those feelings, those worries, the things she wants for Noctis? He is a good guy; he didn't deserve this.
"...we should probably have a safe word, next time," she says softly.
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When that moment ends, he regains just enough clarity to remember why he was dreading this. He braces himself to fight to keep that clarity, but...the fight never comes. In fact, the restless and malignant hate that boils in this body's veins is finally quiet. His dick is finally softening, which is as much of a relief as the orgasm itself, frankly. He gulps in breath after breath once Rose stops thrusting, and for a while the only thought playing on repeat in his head is, it worked. Deliverance at last - almost.
True deliverance comes a moment later, when the torment of that humming, blinding, scorching light finally ends. The sudden lack of it makes him groan faintly; the pain itself is much slower to subside, and he slumps bonelessly, his hands simply falling from their forced position to lie motionless on the tabletop. The effect of the light on Ardyn's flesh is crystal clear, blackened rings of char that emit a baleful black miasma and an odor of burnt flesh mixed with something worse. His ankles are spared that fate, at least, since she didn't make him remove his boots.
But almost immediately, those burns slowly begin to fade. It takes longer than it would for an ordinary wound, but it is gradually and visibly healing. Which doesn't really alleviate the pain yet, but does make his wrists itch like crazy. He ignores it, totally still except for the way his chest heaves against the table beneath him in its quest to calm his breathing.
He would probably fall asleep like this, even without his own body's plague of fatigue, if it weren't for Rose lying down beside him and, eventually, speaking.
He doesn't pick up his head or move an inch when he rasps, "Rose...I'm...gods, I'm so..." It sounds inadequate enough to Noctis that it's almost comical, but it's all he knows to say.
"I'm so sorry."
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"I know," she says, her words feeling just about as inadequate as his. At times like this, her divine insight is all but useless, and she's just an awkward, socially-isolated woman.
She folds her hands over her belly, realizing she never actually got undressed. But she has no doubt she's going to have some mean-looking bruises on her face within an hour--Noctis might feel more exposed now, but how exposed will Rose feel when evidence of their encounter is written on her flesh for the next few days? Will she hide her injuries, or go around publicly with her chin held high? She's unsure.
"Maybe it's fucked up of me to say," she says after a few moments of thought, "but I had fun. Sincerely. If anything, I might owe you an apology for cruelly goading you, and for... um. You told me to slow down and I didn't." She runs her hands through her sweat-soaked hair, settling her hairband back in place. She realizes her hands are shaking. Shit.
"Sorry. I imagine this wasn't your usual idea of a good time."
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There's a long moment of silence after she stops speaking. Noctis flexes his hands a few times to test the circulation in them; that position Rose had them in was uncomfortable in more than one way. He manages to move enough to turn onto his side - facing away from Rose - and curl in on himself.
"Yeah, that's...pretty fucked up of you to say," he agrees eventually in a relatively casual tone. "But, uh...well, I didn't hate all of it, either." He shrugs uneasily. "You were doing what you thought would help. And it did, so...thanks for that." As upsetting as this was, this is the first moment of real calm he's had since he first found himself in Ardyn's body. He can't overlook that.
"I wanted to slow down for your sake. Usually, when Ardyn, uh...climaxes, he loses control of the Scourge altogether. It's really brutal. I didn't want to hurt you." A pause, and then in a bitterly self-deprecating tone, "More than I already have. You can't pretend you enjoyed it all, Rose. I saw it, you were afraid of me. For good reason. ...shit, here--"
He uncurls enough to reach out a hand and summon a potion, a strong one. He shifts to set it down and push it a bit toward her. "Healing potion. Should take care of...everything." Everything he did to her.
"If you want, I can...I can tell you what the last straw was, you deserve to know, but no matter what it's not an excuse. I know that."
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"You think I'm putting on a brave face to make you feel better," she observes. She's not offended by the implication, but it doesn't feel accurate, either. "Don't. I married a vampire, if you know what those are. I like a bit of danger, and if Ardyn gets as brutal as you say, I imagine you and I share that predilection."
She does take the potion, noting that he's afraid to risk touching her at all. "Thanks," she says, raising an eyebrow at what looks like an energy drink. She wastes no time popping the top and taking a swig--eugh, it tastes like an energy drink. She briefly wonders if it's a prank, but that would be stupidly jarring that she just trusts him on this. And in a few moments, she does feel her aches fading.
As for Noctis' offer... no, Rose doesn't want to delve in-depth into just how she goaded him into losing control. In fact, she's pretty sure she knows how, and she doesn't relish the idea of reviewing just how she used his greatest perceived failure against him for her own sexual gratification. Of the cruel things she's done, that might be one of the worst.
She doesn't want to, but as Noctis says, she deserves to fully understands the consequences of her actions. Maybe she needs to, as well. And maybe Noctis needs to get it out.
"Tell me," she says, her tone neutral.
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He frowns, though, when she says she imagines they share a preference for danger. "Mm...not really. I don't mind things getting rough, but not...not like that. He's never been brutal like that with me. But I've seen what can happen."
He nods in response to her thanks, not bothering to explain why or how an energy drink is a healing potion. And then she accepts the offer to tell her, and Noctis almost wishes she hadn't. He nods again to show her he heard her, but doesn't start right away. Instead he takes the time to push himself up to a sitting position, turning now to face her, although his eyes are cast downward. Then he seems to remember that he's only dressed in the severed pieces of Ardyn's outfit and it's no longer covering much, so he hurriedly banishes the ruined clothes to the armiger and replaces them with a pair of pants that's definitely too small for Ardyn's body, but functional enough, and a larger sweater that fits Ardyn's body just fine because it is Ardyn's; Noctis just filched it at some point to wear himself.
Then he summons two bottles of water and hands one to Rose without looking her in the eye. The other he opens and drinks deeply from himself, before he sighs and tries to figure out where to begin.
"She...the Oracle back home, her name was Lunafreya. She was like you - her powers, I mean. She received divine prophecies and messengers, she could work magic to bolster mine, she healed people and woke the gods from their slumbers so I could make pacts with them. She, um...she was my fiancee." He pulls his knees up to his chest and wraps his arms around them. All I wanted was to save you!
"When she woke up Leviathan, it was pissed off and retaliated. Just...pushed her around some, but that thing is fucking massive, so...you can probably guess how that went. But she never faltered, never hesitated. She forced it to give me a chance to defeat it and prove myself worthy of its power. She..." He pauses to rub his eyes with the back of his hand in an attempt to banish the wetness still welling up there. "She believed in me in a way nobody did, least of all myself. Uh, anyway, while I fought Leviathan, she used up most of her magic helping me win, and...by the end of it, I was barely conscious, and she protected me. And..."
He can't tell her it was Ardyn who killed Luna. Not after what happened here.
"Our enemy s-stabbed her. While I watched. Right before I passed out like a pathetic loser. And she could have healed herself, she had the strength left for that much, but..." His breath hitches and he swallows. "She chose to heal me instead. For the sake of the world. For fucking destiny. For the future. I...I survived, and she didn't, and..." He lightly rubs the knuckles of his right hand with the fingers of his left, as if he'd be touching the ring he usually wears if he were wearing it now. The gesture turns into clenching his hands into trembling fists.
"...anyway, that's...what happened. I couldn't save her. She gave up her chance to live for my sake, and she wasn't the first or the last." He pauses to remember the thread, why he was telling Rose this story in the first place. "...and...that's why what you said just..." He shakes his head, sniffling just a little. "You were right."
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That topic being the Oracle Lunafreya. Eyes on Noctis while his remain downcast, Rose listens to the confirmation that she said just about the most cruel thing a person could say to Noctis specifically. She'd known that, of course, and she feels bad about it... but she also didn't drive the knife home herself, did she. She just echoed what Noctis was saying to himself, called to light the wound that had been festering since Noctis saw his betrothed die.
Rose can relate. To Lunafreya, of course, but also to Noctis. She's seen all of her loved ones die at one point or another. Innocents fed to the engine of destiny, again and again and again.
"I understand," she says softly. "Lunafreya sounds like..." A credit to her role? A bit too cold, Rose. "...I'm sure I would have liked her."
Rose could point out that she only said what she said to goad him--just as Lunafreya probably said many things specifically to motivate Noctis to do what needed done--but Noctis probably knows all that. What matters is whether or not Rose was right. And platitudes won't help that... but insight might. She accepts and sips Noctis' offered water as she thinks.
"You told me once that if I came upon information relevant to you, you'd like to know. I am specifically a Seer of Light, which means I'm attuned to the patterns of fate. If I could tell you with a high degree of confidence whether or not you actually could have saved Lunafreya, would you want to know?"
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Rose's offer is what finally brings his head up to look at her, surprise and alarm in his eyes. He takes a breath and thinks about it, but in the end there was only one answer he was ever going to give, no matter how much it hurts to hear regardless of what the answer even is.
"...yeah. Tell me."
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She nods as Noctis accepts the responsibility of knowledge, knowing that in doing so he merely settles into the despair of helplessness or the pangs of regret. It confirms for her the kind of man he is, and the kind of hero his world must have needed. It takes courage to look into the abyss, or so Rose has always thought.
And she owes him the truth as she understands it.
"Seers are cursed," she begins bluntly. "I've met several myself and read about many more. Whatever our own wants and needs, our sight benefits the world, not ourselves. We're tools of destiny, slaves with the power to see our chains but never to break them. So long as the wheels of fate still turn, those of us lashed to it don't get happy endings. Not in life."
Rose's tone grows softer, more distant, perhaps reminiscing. "And think, too, what kind of hero has the power he needs to save everyone on the first try? Only those who've known weakness can show true compassion. Only those who've tried, failed, and gotten back up can be said to have earned their strength. And happily-married men... tend not to go off on suicide missions."
Rose closes her eyes for a few moments. When she opens them, she hasn't shed a tear.
"The moment your fate was written, so was hers. I'm certain Lunafreya knew that too."
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Questions he'll never get answered, now. So he prefers not to bother asking them.
Rose's talk of being cursed sounds familiar, not just for himself, Seer or not, but for Luna and Ardyn, too. For Luna, it was her sight, just like Rose; for Ardyn, it was a doomed healing gift and an invasion of his very soul; for Noctis, it's the power of kings, meant to save people but capable of doing little that isn't destructive.
He sneers at himself when Rose talks about 'saving everyone.' He might agree if he had ever managed to save anyone. No one would let him. They were all so determined to throw themselves on the bonfire built to the sky that he's meant to climb into the heavens. It was hardly even about power, he wasn't given a choice.
Which is why, ultimately, Rose's conclusion doesn't surprise him in the least. Contradictory, maybe, to his acceptance of the blame, but he can't help how he feels. It's no different from the conflicting feelings he always has when it comes to this stuff. He resents never being allowed to choose, but he still yearns to be everything everyone wants - needs - him to be. He still wants to do well, to help them, to make them proud to call him their king. Not so different from Luna, maybe. He doesn't know whether she ever saw her lot as a curse, but by the time he met her, at least, she was 110% devoted to the cause and never looked back. The difference was, she was actually up to the task.
He's quiet once Rose finishes her assessment, turning it all over in his mind. Eventually, he says, "...yeah, kinda figured that's what you'd say. Doesn't stop me from feeling responsible, though. If I just attributed everything in my life to fate and didn't take responsibility for any of it, what kind of king would I be? What kind of friend?"
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