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TDM #4
Welcome! Everything is fine.
Uploading. . . Complete!
The Lobby.
- When you open your eyes, there is quite a lot of beige to take in. The unassuming walls of the room you've found yourself in are barren save for a single motivational poster directly in your line of sight. An illuminated sign above an open door on the far wall reads 'lobby exit.'
"Welcome," chimes a polite, synthesized voice. "I'm happy you're here." A moment later comes the clarity of the situation: you have died and so has the world you came from. "This is Amani, your new reality," continues The Peacekeeper. "Everything will be fine."
At least you aren't the only one here, you'll soon find out, as others who are just as confused and concerned as you are mingling on the main hub's first floor. Hopefully, you find a familiar face among the crowd. If not, that's all right. You'll get to know quite a few people very well soon enough.
- If you're one of the unlucky few whose death required a bit more intensive re-coding to maintain stability in the simulation, you'll instead awaken on a bed in the infirmary. Everything is strikingly white save for the occasional string of vines with lavender growing in bursts to help keep people calm. Whether or not it works seems to be on a case-by-case basis.
While there is no active medical staff, the voice of The Peacekeeper is there to explain the situation in a more delicate manner to these individuals. It's already stressful enough having to have gone through such a violent death, after all!
If characters want more questions answered, they'll need to speak to The Peacekeeper directly. But first, it will encourage socialization in the main hub and hopefully, you'll find someone you recognize to make taking things in a little easier.
WHAT
The fourth Amani TDM!
WHEN
April 21st, 2022
KINKS OF THE MONTH
★ Tickling
★ Facials
★ School Uniforms
★ Sharing
★ Hurt/Comfort
★ Facials
★ School Uniforms
★ Sharing
★ Hurt/Comfort
WELCOME
Throughout the main hub where everyone congregates, a light chiming echoes through the first floor. "Hello, everyone," comes the synthetic voice from when you first arrived. "Please, watch your step since there's quite a few puddles around. If you'd like, there is cake, some refreshments, and some eggs for you in these trying times. If they feel warmer than usual, that's because they're going to hatch soon!"
While the Peacekeeper doesn't elaborate, as usual, simulation inhabitants are free to notice the eggs that either they gathered or are still littering the simulation are now warm to the touch, give off a faint glow, and may even move subtly now and again if watched.
Dark, ominous clouds begin to gather over every piece of sky in the simulation and before long blot out the sun. Sheets of rain begin to pour down almost without warning. Hopefully, you've managed to fix those leaks in your house! Or maybe you're finding new ones...
Lightning splits the sky with a dramatic crackle and thunder booms not long after it. The wind howls and the worst of the storm won't relent for a few hours at the least. Even after, the rain will linger for days on and off to varying degrees of severity.
While the weather has taken a turn for the gloomy, that doesn't mean that simulation inhabitants have to be! In fact, it may feel somewhat refreshing as if the rain is washing away any negativity lingering after The Overseer's masquerade. Whether by her design or not, she - nor The Peacekeeper - will say but it does seem that she wants to keep relations as peaceful between the simulation inhabitants and creators as she can.
Of course, your buckets might not just be catching water. With the rising water levels, the fish that inhabit the simulation's waters are just as confused as anyone else. Even more confusing is the glitch causing them to transform once they find themselves on solid (mostly) ground.
Thankfully, they don't change into anything harmful. Well, maybe to your teeth since an abundance of sweet treats is bound to cause a cavity or two... Not to mention the other odd effects that food here is known to have.
If the party and its cake don't appeal to you, that's perfectly fine. This is the perfect time to configure your Digitized Technical Friend or your DTF status. A DTF is similar to a dæmon from His Dark Materials in that it is connected to and a reflection of a character's soul. These DTFs take shape accordingly and are projections similar to the NPCs. Think of them as your own personal Clippy except less annoying. Hopefully.
Once that's set-up, there are other locations of the main hub to investigate! You can still find an (off-key) instrument to play in the music lounge or check out the (algae-ridden) pool.
You can even visit The Peacekeeper themselves on the second floor. They're always happy to have visitors! They're also conveniently where you might place a complaint about that status of the main hub and its amenities.
While the Peacekeeper doesn't elaborate, as usual, simulation inhabitants are free to notice the eggs that either they gathered or are still littering the simulation are now warm to the touch, give off a faint glow, and may even move subtly now and again if watched.
APRIL SHOWERS
Granted, there are bigger things to worry about such as the storm that's rolling in.Dark, ominous clouds begin to gather over every piece of sky in the simulation and before long blot out the sun. Sheets of rain begin to pour down almost without warning. Hopefully, you've managed to fix those leaks in your house! Or maybe you're finding new ones...
Lightning splits the sky with a dramatic crackle and thunder booms not long after it. The wind howls and the worst of the storm won't relent for a few hours at the least. Even after, the rain will linger for days on and off to varying degrees of severity.
While the weather has taken a turn for the gloomy, that doesn't mean that simulation inhabitants have to be! In fact, it may feel somewhat refreshing as if the rain is washing away any negativity lingering after The Overseer's masquerade. Whether by her design or not, she - nor The Peacekeeper - will say but it does seem that she wants to keep relations as peaceful between the simulation inhabitants and creators as she can.
ONE FISH, TWO FISH...
The constant rain brings water levels of the rivers and eddies up at an alarming rate. Flooding is inevitable and, hopefully, the place you've claimed as your own isn't in the way. If it is, you might want to get the buckets ready or consider a relocation!Of course, your buckets might not just be catching water. With the rising water levels, the fish that inhabit the simulation's waters are just as confused as anyone else. Even more confusing is the glitch causing them to transform once they find themselves on solid (mostly) ground.
Thankfully, they don't change into anything harmful. Well, maybe to your teeth since an abundance of sweet treats is bound to cause a cavity or two... Not to mention the other odd effects that food here is known to have.
- ★ Taiyaki » Despite having just jumped out of the chilly waters, these tasty treats will be warm to the touch and generate steam. After biting into one, you'll radiate warmth no matter what for a brief period of time. Being a walking furnace sure is nice with this damp, cold atmosphere... Maybe you'll find a friend or two to huddle up with and keep warm.
★ Swedish Fish » Eating one of these stretchy, gummy candies will increase your flexibility. Literally and metaphorically! It might be easier to be convinced to do something you wouldn't have before and now you can bend just the right way to make it extra fun.
★ Hard Fish Candy » These tart candies will render someone unable to speak until it completely dissolves. This can take a while, too, since they seem to be persistantly stuck to the roof of your mouth! Yet, don't underestimate the power of body language to speak your mind.
★ Chocolate Sardines » Eating one of these rich bite-sized treats will make you sweeter. No, really! Candy kisses isn't just an expression after eating these fish. You taste delicious. Maybe too delicious... Be careful! Once someone gets a taste of you, they might not want to stop anytime soon.
WHAT'S YOUR DTF STATUS?
If the party and its cake don't appeal to you, that's perfectly fine. This is the perfect time to configure your Digitized Technical Friend or your DTF status. A DTF is similar to a dæmon from His Dark Materials in that it is connected to and a reflection of a character's soul. These DTFs take shape accordingly and are projections similar to the NPCs. Think of them as your own personal Clippy except less annoying. Hopefully.
Once that's set-up, there are other locations of the main hub to investigate! You can still find an (off-key) instrument to play in the music lounge or check out the (algae-ridden) pool.
You can even visit The Peacekeeper themselves on the second floor. They're always happy to have visitors! They're also conveniently where you might place a complaint about that status of the main hub and its amenities.
RAINING CATS AND DOGS
While the fishy foods are odd enough as is, another glitch appears to be occurring throughout the simulation but this time originates not from the rain but The Peacekeeper's humble musings. "Did you know," speaks the resident AI, "that there is an expression called 'raining cats and dogs'? I think that's such a curious saying! It made me wonder what it might actually look like..."
Following the strange, unexpected 'announcement,' inhabitants may begin to notice large globs of water falling periodically from the sky now amidst the regular rain. When they hit the ground with a large splash, nothing is there... at first. The water will burst apart only to reassemble into a canine or feline friend. Well, it's shaped like a dog or a cat.
Due to the sudden nature of their spawning though, some things aren't quite right. Perhaps that cat has only three legs instead of four; a dog may be missing an eye, an ear, or even its tail. And those are the more tame oddities! While the unique animals aren't overly abundant there are still a good number that spawn across the days of rain. Don't be surprised if a dog takes up shelter from the storm on your porch or you come home to a cat you don't own having climbed through a loose window.
While this might be exactly the addition to your home that you wanted, it doesn't change the leaky roof or broken window in your new place. Or, unfortunately, the fact that there's no extra space for a pet yet. No, unfortunately that will still need to be fixed the peaceful way. If you'd like more lighting or even cozier clothes, simulation inhabitants are reminded that 'peaceful interactions' are very important!
It might be a good idea to stick close to someone you know, for now, since even the smallest amounts of intimacy might see subtle changes occurring where they're staying. Perhaps that broken window is now fixed, the grime and dust seem a little less, or the floor doesn't creak quite as loud.
Larger changes, however, will only come after demonstrating the more powerful peaceful interactions. If you want new hardwood floors or a fresh coat of paint on the walls, you're going to have to demonstrate how well you 'get along' with others against them first.
Following the strange, unexpected 'announcement,' inhabitants may begin to notice large globs of water falling periodically from the sky now amidst the regular rain. When they hit the ground with a large splash, nothing is there... at first. The water will burst apart only to reassemble into a canine or feline friend. Well, it's shaped like a dog or a cat.
Due to the sudden nature of their spawning though, some things aren't quite right. Perhaps that cat has only three legs instead of four; a dog may be missing an eye, an ear, or even its tail. And those are the more tame oddities! While the unique animals aren't overly abundant there are still a good number that spawn across the days of rain. Don't be surprised if a dog takes up shelter from the storm on your porch or you come home to a cat you don't own having climbed through a loose window.
While this might be exactly the addition to your home that you wanted, it doesn't change the leaky roof or broken window in your new place. Or, unfortunately, the fact that there's no extra space for a pet yet. No, unfortunately that will still need to be fixed the peaceful way. If you'd like more lighting or even cozier clothes, simulation inhabitants are reminded that 'peaceful interactions' are very important!
It might be a good idea to stick close to someone you know, for now, since even the smallest amounts of intimacy might see subtle changes occurring where they're staying. Perhaps that broken window is now fixed, the grime and dust seem a little less, or the floor doesn't creak quite as loud.
Larger changes, however, will only come after demonstrating the more powerful peaceful interactions. If you want new hardwood floors or a fresh coat of paint on the walls, you're going to have to demonstrate how well you 'get along' with others against them first.
SEEING PINK
ear the end of the week, the rain finally relents and temperatures continue to gradually increase. Those May flowers can't quite seem to wait though since several of the trees lining the edge of the forest bloom brilliant pink blossoms that a DTF will be able to identify as love blossoms. While the blooms won't last very long, they certainly are using all the time they have to take over.
The pollen is one thing. It may start out as just a tickle in your nose or stuffy head but eventually turns into something much more lovely. You're tickled pink about almost everything, it seems, and want to share that happiness with others. And who needs rose-colored glasses when almost everywhere one looks there's a string of love blossoms blooming?
These invasive flowers are in your garden, along the vines in the city, and even sprawling through the main hub! It actually seems almost impossible to avoid them. The Peacekeeper assures inhabitants that it isn't purposeful and just the natural cycle of the love blossoms.
Enjoy the mood-lifting and groin-tingling effects while they last! The love blossoms will only linger for a few days, at most, before receding back to the forest line and eventually falling dormant again until next spring.
The pollen is one thing. It may start out as just a tickle in your nose or stuffy head but eventually turns into something much more lovely. You're tickled pink about almost everything, it seems, and want to share that happiness with others. And who needs rose-colored glasses when almost everywhere one looks there's a string of love blossoms blooming?
These invasive flowers are in your garden, along the vines in the city, and even sprawling through the main hub! It actually seems almost impossible to avoid them. The Peacekeeper assures inhabitants that it isn't purposeful and just the natural cycle of the love blossoms.
Enjoy the mood-lifting and groin-tingling effects while they last! The love blossoms will only linger for a few days, at most, before receding back to the forest line and eventually falling dormant again until next spring.
SEXY STAMP CARD
If you're wondering about these 'peaceful interactions' that keep being mentioned or what the kinks of the month are for... Here's your answer! Upon arrival, all characters will receive a digital copy of their very own sexy stamp card.
Completing peaceful interactions (i.e. kinks) will reward characters with stamps that they can turn in for re-gains and many other things! While the example one here is the standard issued card by The Peacekeeper, players are more than welcome to customize it how they see fit. Have fun with it!NOTES
Completing peaceful interactions (i.e. kinks) will reward characters with stamps that they can turn in for re-gains and many other things! While the example one here is the standard issued card by The Peacekeeper, players are more than welcome to customize it how they see fit. Have fun with it!
★ The kinks of the month have changed! Be sure to check this post for what the new ones are. Also, give a congratulations to Corrin (
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fatefulprince) as the as the new leader of the sexy leaderboard! 🎉★ The effects of the strange fish candies can, as always, be as heavy or light as you'd like! It can be chalked up to differences in resistance, non-humanity or not, etc. etc. Also, they can mixed-and-matched! Have fun with that.
★ The flora and fauna page will be updated. It's also still open for player suggestions! All you need to do now is link your check-in (or player claim) comment to make a submission!
★ Make sure to dunk your questions/feedback in the thread below!
NAVIGATION
no subject
Milord, you know I would gladly serve you until the end. Beyond the end - as a matter of fact! For as long as I am here, I will protect you.
[ the question of what exactly he'd need protecting from is another story. especially since now that his initial doom & gloom anxiety had subsided, he was beginning to see his surroundings for what they were. how radiant Xander looked being here with him again, the joy in getting to bask in seeing him so calm. how the blossoms growing around them carried the nicest aroma that tickled both his face and his heart with adoring feelings.
was this heaven? ]
... Oh! Oh right. The nature of this place, ah ha ha. It's quite funny, really. Flirting doesn't seem all that fun when you give me permission like this! [ he's kidding! mostly. ]
I don't know the full score about this place if I'm being honest Milord, only that one is expected to be "peaceful" here and fill in stamps on this little card that I was given. By how pensive you look just now, I take it that there is perhaps more than meets the eye?
no subject
Besides, Laslow's loyalty and praise is much too hard a thing to swallow. To allow it to persist is doing them both an unkindness. His retainers, of all people, deserve the truth of the matter. But the words get caught in his chest, not even daring to be uttered. And it is inherently selfish not to speak them and yet... he still cannot.]
I would say that such things would be better described with someone with a much more uncouth tongue. [Like Niles.] But I will do what I can. This entire place is made for us to fulfill the desires of the Peacekeepers. And their terminology is just a gentle way of their intimacy pushing agenda. Everything here is to spark that inclination. The offered food and drink... any event they host. Perhaps even these flowers... Though I am uncertain. All of this is so that you will do as much as you can with as many as you can.
[His DTF announced Corrin's name proudly just the other day. He tries not to think about that over much.]
The food and most things here are made to trap you into this cycle. To what end? That remains to be seen.
As this is the end of all things I suppose for most it doesn't matter. Again... if that is what you would like to do I would not possibly deny you. Despite your own claims you owe me nothing more in death. I have stolen away your entire life with my inability to protect the kingdom... You should do as you like.
But if it all becomes too much... my side is always a place you will be welcome at. You are, after all, one of my most cherished friends. That will never change, Laslow.
no subject
My word ... this is a lot to take in. Why the devil would the afterlife consist of an establishment like this? There are those who would be well adapted, and yet ...
[ he's only implying to be talking about himself here but - honestly? Laslow didn't get any action back in Nohr. he lived a life of rejection and even now, he knew deep down he's not sure how he would react if he was solicited by someone. it had been years. so long, in fact, he can't even remember. ]
Well ... Milord, if you'll pardon the crudeness of my language, I'm going to bare the assumption that you have not partaken in the means of this place? While you and I both agree that I, er ... [ he looks kind of reluctant and nervous when he says this- ] ... may be a touch better suited for this, what does this entail for you? Even still, I-- well ... it's one thing to invite a fair lady or gentleman to tea, but it's another to be intimate entirely. [ gods - is he ever blushing now. ] Can't even remember the last time I so much as kissed another person. And to do things like this ... [ it's almost as if layers of his outer shell were being chipped away at - he found that he had somewhat less of a guard when discussing these things with Xander due to the fact taken into account that they were both dead. nothing mattered any more, really, did it? ]
I should just hope that abstinence is not punished. Milord, you should never involve yourself with things you aren't comfortable with. Although I'm certain you know this already - and I may even be wrong about whether or not you participate here. But let me assure you ... I'm not going to run blindly into the will of this world when I have you to think about.
no subject
As someone who lived in Nohr for a time you are likely familiar with the history. My father's history, to be precise. There is no force alive that would convince me to behave in such a way. I will live here as I lived back home... And I do not wish to become--
[Tarnished. Sullied... There are many words that equate to the feeling of just giving yourself away like it is nothing. Marrying for love has always been off the table for him had he lived to actually be king. But this is the other extreme. And it is just as unhappy and unsavory.]
It matters not. But I will not partake. [Not unless the need was truly dire. To save a life or some sort. Regardless... Laslow's dedication is a precious thing. To serve even in this strange afterlife it truly pulls at his heart in a way he's never felt before. Which is why despite not wanting to speak of it... it needs to be said. So Laslow doesn't throw away his entire afterlife on him.]
Laslow... What I am about to ask is not a question of your loyalty though admittedly it will sound like it. Do you wish to serve me out of guilt or out of the same sense of duty you felt when we first met?
[The unspoken third option which doesn't occur to the Prince. This bond they've formed after all this time. And while he does consider Laslow one of his dear friends it would be foolish to assume the same of those that work and serve beneath you. That is a relationship that is not equal, even he is aware of that.]
If it is guilt that drives you... then I must confess something to you. [He hesitates for a moment.] If it is guilt that drives you... I should assure you that it was never my intention to survive that battle. That's why I locked you and Peri away... so you would not get involved. So you would not see me fall. And so you would not fall yourselves.
The truth of the matter... was that I was going to win against Corrin. I would have been the victor and perhaps our kingdom saved but Elise... I ended up cutting her down. [The words are hard to say even now but his voice does not break. It trembles but nothing else.] And then, just like that, my family was broken... Shattered so completely, never to be repaired. The blood of my siblings was staining the floors once more and by my hand no less.
The guilt you feel over my demise is not one you should carry. The moment I locked the door to that room with you and Peri inside there was nothing more to be done. I am only truly and deeply sorry that you were also slain in this pointless battle. And it is, without a doubt, that you and Peri and Elise... and countless others are gone.
So again, I ask, do you serve me out of guilt or out of the same sense of duty you felt when we first met?
[Neither should exist now.]
no subject
oh, he ached. how he ached.
his voice is soft, almost as a whisper, and he casts his gaze down. ]
I had a suspicion that is how it went down, and having it described makes my heart ache like none other. I am so very sorry you spent your final moments in that way ... really, Milord, I ... [ he swallows hard so not to cry. blast. why now of all times? right when he had all sorts of conflicting thoughts bouncing around in his head over the crude nature of this place, he now felt overwhelmed with all sorts of emotions. it takes all of his strength to not choke and with one sharp deep breath, he manages to abstain from crying. barely just so.
he lets out a shuddering sigh. ]
You are carrying so much hurt inside. I can see it in your face. But we're here now. Among flowers, under blue skies. [ ... with weird sex demands but-- ] It's all over. We made it through to somewhere. It isn't a perfect somewhere, but I'll be damned if I don't see through to you having a comfortable, peaceful time here with the amenities that you deserve after all the pain you've gone through.
[ Xander raises a good point. why did Laslow want to continue serving him? he'd have to search deep into his heart to figure that answer out but for now, the very least he could do was try to put it into words. the way his heart danced in his chest when the blonde noble was in his vicinity, and how he had passed these feelings off for years as devotion. he'd been far too busy to contemplate otherwise. but now, under a new sky among the blossoms, he could think about it.
but kind of didn't want to. ]
I enjoy your company, Milord. Once my service had ended as your retainer, I had planned to go to a far away land - my home. Before long, Nohr began to feel like my home. I was beginning to doubt myself and my intentions once over. But regardless of what my intentions were, I cannot go home now. I am here now, as are you. And although I am filled with regret that I lack the ability to see Mother and Father again, I feel warm and fulfilled in your company.
[ he gazes up at Xander after having had his head cast down for so long. ]
So, please, Milord. I would like to stay by your side while I am here. There are many things unknown about this afterlife - in the event of threat or conflict, I want to ensure I am there protecting you.
no subject
The prince breathes out slow reaching out to take his retainer’s hands in his own once the other is no longer looking down.]
I remember the day we met… I remember thinking how thin and frail you looked. I beloved I would beat you easily and be done with this farce of having a retainer be pushed upon me. And yet… you dueled me with such incredible desperation. It mingled together with your actual skill with both blade and footwork. And I remember thinking that you fought as if your life depended on serving me. Even now, here at the end of all things with no kingdom and country, you would still serve me.
I know I have done naught to earn such overwhelming devotion but as the selfish man I am I will keep it close and covet it. [Is it really selfish or coveting if it is being given so freely?] I have failed you for in our previous lives but I will swear to you that it will not happen again. Whatever happens, whatever foolishness you find yourself entangled in… I will keep you safe. As I should have back in Nohr.
[Laslow, after all, is not incorrect. In this land of blue skies and endless flowers is a second chance, of sorts.
To live a life without the oppression of his father’s rule. A concept he had not begun to even consider. There is a freedom here, one he’s not sure how to make the most of. But it may be easier with Laslow at his side.]
It will be a much simpler life than in Nohr. Perhaps even more difficult in regards to certain aspects but… If it is within my power I will try to see that you not want for the essentials.
no subject
[ there's a blush that spreads across Laslow's face with such an intensity that it practically burns all the way to the tips of his ears once his lord takes both of his hands. as he had no means to hide his blushing face due to both of his hands being occupied, the shy dancer can only tilt his head to the side while a smile shatters through the serious demeanour he was maintaining prior to this. he certainly looked more like his old self now.
a more simple life than Nohr? that sounded just about right. it actually seemed like something of a paradise. apart from a few minor details here and there, but ... with the pheromones from the blossoms tickling his emotions, it was all he could focus on at the moment. the anxiety and worry about their circumstance was leaving him so quickly, with every breath of the blossoms he felt more and more at peace. what a beautiful, alluring smell they had. ]
While I am most certainly in disagreement over the prospect of you being a failure, I am very glad you want to keep me by your side still. Thank you.
[ ... he smiles playfully all of a sudden. ]
... Perhaps you ought to prepare a list of commodities that you would like so that I can prepare to obtain them for you. [ yep - he's planning on doing exactly what Xander thinks he's doing. ]
no subject
And then... Laslow makes his offer and you can nearly hear the glass shattering over this particular scene. Xander's brow furrows at once and he drops his retainer's hands to fold his arms over over his chest instead, an unhappy huff is quick to follow.]
Absolutely not. I forbid you from getting anything for me. If you wish to aquire items for yourself, I can hardly stop you. But I refuse, outright, that sort of thing. I do not need anything or want anything at all, regardless of what you may think.
I insist that you do not debase yourself on my account. Whatever you intend to procure for me will not be worth whatever deed you end up doing. Is that quite clear, Laslow?
no subject
T-That's absurd, Milord! Of course you need things! If you've been lugging around in your armour for weeks, you ought to have a wardrobe lined with a fresh change of clothes! And toiletries! And books! And other living amenities ... do you really have absolutely nothing here at all? Your horse? A blade? Anything!?
[ clearly he has work to do! ]
I mean ... well. It's a worthy sacrifice, is it not? Y-You are quite aware now that I am, unfortunately, quite inexperienced as it were ... despite my, er ... tendencies in Nohr ... I never got further than a kiss on the cheek, really.
[ he huffs! ]
But that doesn't matter! If my lord needs clean clothes for himself, I will do my utmost to court any person I come across! Surely you understand this comes from the heart - right...? [ his frantic pace slows suddenly as he draws out a sigh. ] After all, if I am to be honest with you Milord, intimacy frightens me a fair bit. I had hoped my first experience would be in the arms of someone who cares for me greatly, but-- ah, what am I saying?! Please forget you heard that.
no subject
Surely virtue is worth more than any coat, Laslow. I will not have you give yourself away for my own personal possessions. Did we not discuss how I value such things? And what sort of position you would put me in if you were to do something like that? To say nothing of my own feelings on the matter that you're giving yourself away for next to nothing.
I won't have it. And that is my final word on the matter. There are ways to get the necessities without playing to the city's whims. I would I would strive towards that possible avenue before all else.
[He's not even going to bring up his horse at this rate. He does miss his loyal companion dearly but it is simply not meant to be. He would not bring her into a world such as this anyway. And Laslow doesn't need to know how much he misses her. A topic he will leave untouched for as long as he is able.]
I would ask this of you Laslow... that you consider your own worth and your own needs before all else. If you speak of your inexperience then covet your virtue until you find someone or, if it must be so, some thing worth it. For you and not for me. Is that understood, Laslow?
[In a way this is not so different a conversation when he was lecturing Laslow about being a bother in local taverns and the like. Have a bit more respect for your position and yourself. He can't make his retainer grasp that concept but he can at least put his foot down about using his body to get simple necessities that can surely be found anywhere.]
You speak of finding someone to care about you... And you, of all people, surely will but it will require you to care about yourself first. How can you expect the same if you are not willing to take care of you... There is no need to be so self sacrificing. Certainly not for me. I cannot bear the thought of you bringing me anything at all while knowing what it is that is required of you.
no subject
[ ack! he felt like a fool! he anticipated Xander reacting in such a way, but he can't understand why he can't at least obtain the completed cards for him...!? it wasn't the most pleasant ordeal to find themselves in, but Laslow has been wanting to try intimate acts for a while now. in his mind, he gets to pop his cherry and his lord becomes well looked after. what can possibly go wrong? granted, he was oblivious to most of Nohr's unpleasantries regarding sex, despite having been exposed to some of it as Xander's retainer. ]
We may fall at an impasse, Milord. I am aware you do not want to partake. I am ... admittedly rather hesitant to myself, due to my inexperience. And yet ...
[ Laslow glances up at Xander with a visible blush burning bright across his cheeks. ]
But, Milord ... what if it's ... not as treacherous as one may imagine? What if it's ... enjoyable? Although I believe this is more likely the case with someone who a person knows and cares for, but--
[ the dizzying effects of the blossoms that were wrapping Laslow up in a velvety throw of desire would now become apparent in the way that the retainer was about to unfurl some colourful language that would be easily repressed under any other circumstance. ]
You are under no obligation to answer this if it provides you with any discomfort, Milord. But ... have you ever wondered what it is like? To be intimate with another person. To share a kiss with another person ... to feel their hands on your body, wanting you, needing you - as you lose yourself to them? [ a breath ] How electrifying it would feel to have your body melt with desire as you become one with each other ... [ Laslow cuts himself off with a deliberate cough as he splutters, having blushed his brightest so far. ] Y-You know?
no subject
He suspects, perhaps, the flowers have something to do with it. He undoubtedly was feeling some sort of way... all of which is quickly being burned away with this conversation and his ever mounting frustration.]
I'm sure it's very pleasurable, Laslow, which is why people do it and make terrible decisions simply to have more of it. That's not the issue here nor has it ever been.
[The conversation about devotion and loyatly that they'd been having before almost feels like it never happened at all. Every moment they continue to talk about this the more closed off Xander allows himself to become. These questions breech a comfort line that he is none to pleased about.]
No. [The word is firm and sharp.] I am the Crown Prince of Nohr. And one day I would have been married to someone I did not know or maybe was vaguely aware of. And that would have been that. What proceeded that would have been an expectation for children. And the act of doing so would fall from uneventful to perhaps a mildly pleasurable experience. Either way it would be done with a Queen I was only just getting to know or would never know at all. And what follows then is difficult to say. We would have been married and happy or simply two strangers required by the kingdom to be together.
So again. No. I have never wondered such a thing. Not once. And not now even with the restrictions of my birth removed.
[Xander gives his retainer a very scrutinizing look, his brow deeply furrowed. Perhaps if Laslow was ever in his shoes he may understand the expectations that are on one of his status. It may be a difficult concept to grasp for those whose opportunities for things like love are near endless. It truly has never bothered him any. Not really, anyway. Other than a wistful thought he has dismissed the idea entirely for his own good.]
Why are you pushing this so Laslow? As I have said... If this is what you want to do then do it for yourself but I will not accept anything that comes from you getting material items this way.
[If he didn't know any better he'd say... No. His thoughts stray no further towards impossibilities. It would be down right nonsensical.]
I will speak no more of this. And we should leave this place anyway... It is making you speak out of turn and I will have no more of your persistence in this matter.
1/2
... But there's an awful lot of past tense in your statement, Milord. You were the crown prince. You were to be married. Hell be told, you and I both had duties that tied us so strongly to the land of the living.
[ just like how he, himself, was a prince. a prince of a land he left behind to serve another. he knew Xander would not take kindly to the discovery and had opted to withhold it for as long as he possibly could. showing compassion now to his lord given the circumstance they were now in, stripped of responsibilities and nobility, seemed befitting with the information he was clinging onto. information which, unbeknown to Xander, followed a similar path to him. although Laslow, as Inigo, was hardly a model prince - being scolded by his father for his inferiority. losing himself in flirting and women to pacify himself from the destruction brought by the fell dragon. could Xander really blame him for wanting intimacy with another person to mean something at long last? ]
I recall our conversation back in your chambers, where I asked you how you would feel if I left to go somewhere else after fulfilling my services to you. Another land. That land was ... my home, Milord. [ he grips his own arm. ] There are many things I held from you. About ... who I am as a person. My origins, my ... duties that I had to leave behind when I ... [ made a deal with Anankos. he cuts himself off with a sigh. ] It may sound unbelievable coming from someone of assumed lower status than you ... [ the word of interest there is assumed ] but I know how you feel on a level that far surpasses anything you can imagine.
[ perhaps he's saying too much ... was it too early for him to share his origins? but if not now, then, when? at least in Laslow's mind, it was relevant. ]
In the end I started to abandon that desire to go home because the bond I formed with you is something that I did not want to lose. [ Laslow chuffs out an embarrassed laugh. ] Ridiculous, right? I wanted to tell you everything about me in due time. I wanted to stay by your side and leave everything I ever once knew in order to do so. Father, Mother, my old kingdom ... all my friends I cherished and loved across time and realm.
2/3 I LIED
What I mean to say is - you are more than your duties, Milord! You are a man to be admired! You can just be yourself here - whatever that entails! You cannot stay locked up for a kingdom that you are no longer tied to! And if my devotion means anything to you, you should be able to see what an adored man you are - status or not! I did not agree to stay by your side for money, convenience or out of sheer will power, it's because I--
3/3
he stops. by sheer will power, and falls stunned to silence. his eyes quickly turn glassy. he was dreading Xander's reaction.
could he save himself? ]
...
[ apparently not. ]
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Perhaps it's habit and it is comforting and familiar at this point, especially here at the end of all things. He's not upset by this, no, it's to be expected. After all if the concept of all titles and their past is to truly be forgotten than the other man should no longer be trying so hard to serve him.]
Enough of this Laslow. You speak in contradictions. You ask me to stop living as someone tied to a kingdom and then speak of your own devotion towards me as your lord. Your attempts to bend over backwards to get me simple things I do not need. Enough is enough... Please.
I will not explain myself any more and I will not have you trying to overturn my ideals. Cease this at once. That is my final statement on the matter. And I am asking both as your Lord and as your friend to leave the matter well enough alone in regards to me. Do not make me request this of you again.
[If Laslow wants the gritty details about the why of it all Xander will give them. But... Not here. Not in the public with these flowers and their toxins.]
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[ it takes him a while before he speaks, after shielding his face with his hand.
ah. there were tears falling to the ground in front of him. crying after rejection was the norm for Laslow, embarrassingly so. but this pain was unbearable. it robbed him of the ability to speak yet, he felt as though he couldn't breathe. he certainly couldn't look at the other man for all the shame he felt.
Xander was sharp as a tack: he could see the contradictions in Laslow's words regarding his offer for service while the pitiful young man didn't even realise he was making them. without the blossoms influencing him into rinsing himself dry, he would've had a lot more time to articulate it - that is, if he ever decided to tell him the extent of how far his loyalty runs. everything was wonderful up until this point, and he had to ruin it.
he's ruined a lot of things in his life.
his voice cracks when he speaks. ]
... S-Sorry. I'll not press the matter any further. [ sniff ] and I suppose I've lost my chance at ever being able to tell you my history which I've so desperately wanted you to know this entire time that I've been by your side.
[ Laslow is putting all of his strength into concealing the fact that he was crying - but undoubtedly he knew Xander would be able to tell one way or another. ]
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[Xander steps forward and places a hand upon his retainer's head once more. It's this place he thinks. This place is making emotions swing wildly out of control. They need to rectify that by getting out of these flowers sooner rather than later.
The prince reaches into his pocket of his black coat, retrieving a handkerchief for the other to dry his eyes and the like.]
Do not shed tears... A lot has happened in a very short amount of time. We were betrayed. We died. And that is no small thing. Gather yourself and come with me out of these flowers. Pretty they may be but I think it is causing even more duress on your emotions than you can handle in this moment.
We can discuss more later once you've had a chance to settle. Dry your eyes and we can be on our way.
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perhaps it was an epiphany about this place that he wasn't quite ready to handle. but still, there was no falseness in the words that he spoke. he reaches out to take the tissue, dabbing his eyes while he shudders out a sigh, unable to stop himself from crying. ]
You are ... still allowing me to join you in spite of my abhorrent display just now?
[ he steps forward out of the flowers and gazes up at Xander with swollen, red eyes as his tears continue to pour. if only he could magically make them stop somehow. ]
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[Xander beckons Laslow to follow him to the station.]
It was recommended to me to do a lot of hunting and gathering to avoid being poisoned with aphrodisiacs by the city. So I have picked a place to stay about as far away as I can be with lots of opportunities to do such things. It reminds me, a touch, of making camp with the army. Lots of fending to keep the rations supply high and boiling unknown water sources to make it safe. The place itself isn't very much but... it will do.
You can stay with me for as long as you like. But you are not obligated too if you do not wish. It is a place you can always return to if you are ever in need.
[Xander is not going to mention that after nearly a month of being here there is basically nothing inside this home. That'll be a "fun" surprise for Laslow upon arrival.]
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[ Laslow sniffs and wipes his eyes on his sleeve. poisoned by aphrodisiacs...? well, that would certainly explain his abhorrent behaviour just now. the sooner they left, the better. ]
Thank you. Milord, I ... I'm so sorry about this. Please, lead the way. I really want to get out of here.
[ continued here! ]