Felix's mouth clamps shut. He doesn't say that it was his own pain that he was trying to kill all this time. He doesn't say that it had been already too late by the time the Empire marched on the Tailtean plains. He doesn't say that he didn't remember ever promising to stay by Dimitri's side. He doesn't know if any of those things are even true.

Dimitri's head is resting against his, and of course, despite how much he hates it, Felix starts to tear up. He squeezes his eyes shut and tries not to shake and shake and shake.