There was so much said, so much to take in and Dimitri didn't know where to even begin. It seemed that besides the fact that both fought in a war, there was almost nothing else similar at all. The reasons for fighting were similar causes for the most part but not a single event was the same as his.
There was much that stuck out to him. Dedue, his dear beloved Dedue had almost died for him, Rodrigue was dead, Monica was never saved, his uncle was never charged with being an accomplish in the tragedy in Duscur, that he had tried for peace with Edelgard and yet murdered her....that he had gone insane. It was all too much to take in for now and he felt himself growing dizzy and nauseous.
All of this, every single deviance from his own life was all because of Byleth. It all started because Byleth found him and not Shez. He tried to compare the two but it was no contest. Shez hardly had much to do with his own life other than being someone he would see on occasion or could call upon for military strategies. They were never close and never going to be close. Dimitri had made sure of it early on. He had enough friends and hadn't needed a new one, he'd only ever needed soldiers to help him fight and Shez was good for that.
Byleth...that was different. Byleth apparently fell in love with him because of his laughter. It was heartwarming to think something so simple could get someone to fall in love with him, and yet he couldn't recall ever laughing in front of the Ashen Demon. There was no Alois there to tell any jokes around him and they were in the middle of a war and he was King, he hadn't had time for humor. Had his own need to finish the war quickly been his undoing? Was that why the Ashen Demon didn't want him? He was too untouchable as the King, there was no time to let go and be carefree and he had lost that chance because of it.
Dimitri wasn't sure if he felt better or worse from hearing all this. Currently he was siding with worse. Then there was the matter of this Byleth's own tale. It mimicked his own in a way. He too felt unwanted and unneeded. That he had no place here. While he couldn't think of any place where he'd in his right mind marry Edelgard, he felt for Byleth.
He rubbed his face in his hands, feeling the heat and burns on his cheeks and leaned back in the chair a little, looking at the dilapidated ceiling above. He couldn't look at Byleth right away, he still had to process it all.
"I.....I feel unwanted just as you once did. I see the way others look at me, like I am different. I'm not the Dimitri anyone remembers and they have the other one...there is no need for me here." He closes his eyes for a moment, his head heavy and the room starting to spin. "I think...I was too cold to you in my time...I never opened up...how could I? I was in the middle of a war to save my kingdom and Fodlan with as little casualties as I could...when was I supposed to laugh?"
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There was much that stuck out to him. Dedue, his dear beloved Dedue had almost died for him, Rodrigue was dead, Monica was never saved, his uncle was never charged with being an accomplish in the tragedy in Duscur, that he had tried for peace with Edelgard and yet murdered her....that he had gone insane. It was all too much to take in for now and he felt himself growing dizzy and nauseous.
All of this, every single deviance from his own life was all because of Byleth. It all started because Byleth found him and not Shez. He tried to compare the two but it was no contest. Shez hardly had much to do with his own life other than being someone he would see on occasion or could call upon for military strategies. They were never close and never going to be close. Dimitri had made sure of it early on. He had enough friends and hadn't needed a new one, he'd only ever needed soldiers to help him fight and Shez was good for that.
Byleth...that was different. Byleth apparently fell in love with him because of his laughter. It was heartwarming to think something so simple could get someone to fall in love with him, and yet he couldn't recall ever laughing in front of the Ashen Demon. There was no Alois there to tell any jokes around him and they were in the middle of a war and he was King, he hadn't had time for humor. Had his own need to finish the war quickly been his undoing? Was that why the Ashen Demon didn't want him? He was too untouchable as the King, there was no time to let go and be carefree and he had lost that chance because of it.
Dimitri wasn't sure if he felt better or worse from hearing all this. Currently he was siding with worse. Then there was the matter of this Byleth's own tale. It mimicked his own in a way. He too felt unwanted and unneeded. That he had no place here. While he couldn't think of any place where he'd in his right mind marry Edelgard, he felt for Byleth.
He rubbed his face in his hands, feeling the heat and burns on his cheeks and leaned back in the chair a little, looking at the dilapidated ceiling above. He couldn't look at Byleth right away, he still had to process it all.
"I.....I feel unwanted just as you once did. I see the way others look at me, like I am different. I'm not the Dimitri anyone remembers and they have the other one...there is no need for me here." He closes his eyes for a moment, his head heavy and the room starting to spin. "I think...I was too cold to you in my time...I never opened up...how could I? I was in the middle of a war to save my kingdom and Fodlan with as little casualties as I could...when was I supposed to laugh?"