He pauses at the hand over his, but it's easy to relax for it. Even though this is a different Dimitri, at his core, he is still Dimitri. Just with different experiences.
"I met you, Claude and Edelgard when my father and I helped you fend off some bandits. I ended up becoming a teacher at the monastery. I did feel something when we met, but I had dismissed it as it was so very subtle, and at the time, I was not good at expressing myself. During my time teaching, about a year, I learned how to become more of a- a person I guess. To express myself and make sense of my own feelings. It was a long process..." He explains softly, evenly, as if he were giving a lecture in the classroom again.
"It was when I heard you laughing. You were standing near the gate and Alois was telling you some kind of joke, and you were laughing so hard you nearly doubled over. It was then that I knew I wanted to see that smile as much as possible. To hear you full of joy like that again. I think it was only then that the concept of being in love really crossed my mind." It's strange to talk about this, after all that has happened. But it still brings up the feelings of those memories. "My father was slain that same year, stabbed in the back by a fiend who was using Monica's body as a puppet. It was the first time in my life I ever shed tears. I was beside myself. You were really the only person who told me that it was all right to grieve. That it wasn't weak or shameful."
He goes on to tell him about those five years he was incapacitated, and the war, and what he came back to. How they won. It's a lengthy ordeal but he recounts it like he was reading it out of a book.
"After that, you returned to Faerghus, and I, to be the head of the church in Rhea's stead. There was so much left unsaid, and I felt deep regret. I came to an island before I came here. It was- honestly I thought I was in hell. You were... married to Edelgard, and after one encounter, you refused to speak to me. I fell into a deep depression before I came here. Then it was like... everything was as I remembered. I finally was able to tell you how I felt. I regretted waiting for so long. It was hard after that island, and feeling like I was not enough. Not wanted."
At this, he goes quiet for a moment.
"I think it is quite possible that you could have been with me in your world. But that version of me... maybe he didn't know what he was feeling. Maybe there wasn't enough time together. Maybe he never heard you laugh, or got to feel your deep compassion. Maybe he was a different man all together. I can't say for sure. But I would likely bank on the former being true.
no subject
"I met you, Claude and Edelgard when my father and I helped you fend off some bandits. I ended up becoming a teacher at the monastery. I did feel something when we met, but I had dismissed it as it was so very subtle, and at the time, I was not good at expressing myself. During my time teaching, about a year, I learned how to become more of a- a person I guess. To express myself and make sense of my own feelings. It was a long process..." He explains softly, evenly, as if he were giving a lecture in the classroom again.
"It was when I heard you laughing. You were standing near the gate and Alois was telling you some kind of joke, and you were laughing so hard you nearly doubled over. It was then that I knew I wanted to see that smile as much as possible. To hear you full of joy like that again. I think it was only then that the concept of being in love really crossed my mind." It's strange to talk about this, after all that has happened. But it still brings up the feelings of those memories. "My father was slain that same year, stabbed in the back by a fiend who was using Monica's body as a puppet. It was the first time in my life I ever shed tears. I was beside myself. You were really the only person who told me that it was all right to grieve. That it wasn't weak or shameful."
He goes on to tell him about those five years he was incapacitated, and the war, and what he came back to. How they won. It's a lengthy ordeal but he recounts it like he was reading it out of a book.
"After that, you returned to Faerghus, and I, to be the head of the church in Rhea's stead. There was so much left unsaid, and I felt deep regret. I came to an island before I came here. It was- honestly I thought I was in hell. You were... married to Edelgard, and after one encounter, you refused to speak to me. I fell into a deep depression before I came here. Then it was like... everything was as I remembered. I finally was able to tell you how I felt. I regretted waiting for so long. It was hard after that island, and feeling like I was not enough. Not wanted."
At this, he goes quiet for a moment.
"I think it is quite possible that you could have been with me in your world. But that version of me... maybe he didn't know what he was feeling. Maybe there wasn't enough time together. Maybe he never heard you laugh, or got to feel your deep compassion. Maybe he was a different man all together. I can't say for sure. But I would likely bank on the former being true.