[ it takes him a while before he speaks, after shielding his face with his hand.
ah. there were tears falling to the ground in front of him. crying after rejection was the norm for Laslow, embarrassingly so. but this pain was unbearable. it robbed him of the ability to speak yet, he felt as though he couldn't breathe. he certainly couldn't look at the other man for all the shame he felt.
Xander was sharp as a tack: he could see the contradictions in Laslow's words regarding his offer for service while the pitiful young man didn't even realise he was making them. without the blossoms influencing him into rinsing himself dry, he would've had a lot more time to articulate it - that is, if he ever decided to tell him the extent of how far his loyalty runs. everything was wonderful up until this point, and he had to ruin it.
he's ruined a lot of things in his life.
his voice cracks when he speaks. ]
... S-Sorry. I'll not press the matter any further. [ sniff ] and I suppose I've lost my chance at ever being able to tell you my history which I've so desperately wanted you to know this entire time that I've been by your side.
[ Laslow is putting all of his strength into concealing the fact that he was crying - but undoubtedly he knew Xander would be able to tell one way or another. ]
no subject
[ it takes him a while before he speaks, after shielding his face with his hand.
ah. there were tears falling to the ground in front of him. crying after rejection was the norm for Laslow, embarrassingly so. but this pain was unbearable. it robbed him of the ability to speak yet, he felt as though he couldn't breathe. he certainly couldn't look at the other man for all the shame he felt.
Xander was sharp as a tack: he could see the contradictions in Laslow's words regarding his offer for service while the pitiful young man didn't even realise he was making them. without the blossoms influencing him into rinsing himself dry, he would've had a lot more time to articulate it - that is, if he ever decided to tell him the extent of how far his loyalty runs. everything was wonderful up until this point, and he had to ruin it.
he's ruined a lot of things in his life.
his voice cracks when he speaks. ]
... S-Sorry. I'll not press the matter any further. [ sniff ] and I suppose I've lost my chance at ever being able to tell you my history which I've so desperately wanted you to know this entire time that I've been by your side.
[ Laslow is putting all of his strength into concealing the fact that he was crying - but undoubtedly he knew Xander would be able to tell one way or another. ]